Vulnerability. There’s a word often met with mixed emotions.
On one hand, vulnerability is beautiful… a gateway to authenticity, growth and connectedness. It’s the elixir which allows us to relate more deeply as perfectly flawed humans, to feel closer to one another, and to realize that we’re not alone in our earthly struggles.
With vulnerability, we can get brutally honest with ourselves, embrace growth opportunities and courageously confront the oh, so, many ways we stand in our own way. Yep, vulnerability is a beloved “growth catalyst.”
When that vulnerability is met with “presence,” we get to delight in being fully seen, understood and accepted as we are. The joy of authenticity…oh, so liberating!
The Dark Side of Vulnerability
On the other hand, with vulnerability comes the potential for judgment. Others may view us as weak, feel sorry for us, shame us or withdraw from us. They may feel uncomfortable with our brave sharing of raw emotions, non-mainstream viewpoints or unique challenges. Some may feel helpless in knowing how to respond to us in these moments.
When our vulnerability and authenticity is rejected in some way, that potentially subjects us to emotional pain. Who enjoys that?! That’s just one of the reasons we hold back in sharing our full selves with others.
But, it comes at a cost.
When we resist expressing parts of who we are and play it safe, when we slip into people-pleasing mode, and when we’re not willing to risk vulnerability, we sacrifice authenticity. We shut a part of ourselves out.
All that squashes inner peace. Annoying, to say the least.
One of the 12 facets of inner peace is authenticity. The freer you are to be who you are… the greater sense of inner calm will permeate your being.
We can’t be fully authentic if we’re not willing to be vulnerable. So by definition, if we’re not vulnerable, we’re sabotaging our inner peace. As they say in Israel, “Lo tov.” Or “not good.”
What’s your relationship
with vulnerability and authenticity?
No doubt it’s easier to be vulnerable when we know a listener can “be with” anything, and still accept us as we are. Even better, if that someone can invite us into greater freedom to connect with who we really are on all levels, and support us in expressing that more fully into the world. How wonderful it is when we get to support someone in this manner.
We should all be so lucky to have at least one person, coach or community that allows us to put our “messy selves” forward, as we shift, “figure it out” and evolve into our ever-evolving best selves.
If you’re craving that extra support to be more fully you, push the edges of your potential, navigate current growing pains and embrace more inner peace, then please keep reading. I’ve got the perfect resources for you.
My journey with vulnerability and authenticity.
In 1999, I found myself in a yearlong leadership course with the Coaches Training Institute (CTI). The program was about leading from our individual strengths, our most authentic selves. It was a rich personal growth playground.
I was shocked by how open, honest and vulnerable others were in their sharing. That was new to me.
I often whispered to myself, “I can’t believe they just said THAT out loud with everyone listening!!!??%#$&*?!!”
Of course, I related to nearly every single person’s vulnerable shares, but I could never imagine myself sharing at that level. And it turns out, that “vulnerability” was my catalyst (or “lid lifter” if you’ve studied at CTI) to tap into my most authentic leadership style. There was no escaping vulnerability.
Even a year later, I struggled to be that open and authentic in the group setting. But, I kept experimenting. In one-on-one conversations with my coach, it got easier and easier. In our smaller group mastermind of 3-5, I kept practicing… putting more and more of myself out there, always at least a teeny weeny bit afraid that I would be seen as “less than” for sharing my rough patches and insecurities, especially in real-time.
Eventually, I became comfortable in sharing all parts of myself…. the good, the bad, and the ugly.
My husband is a pretty private person, and still cringes at how open I am on social media, in newsletters, and sharing personal stories in my book, The Power of Inner Choice. But, he’s used to it now.
And while I still resist vulnerability at times, I know in every cell of my being that it’s also a strength, as it is for everyone.
Being free to be me, and you free to be you, is an inner peace booster, even if it’s still a little scary at times. Today is one of those times for me. I realize I’ve been holding out on you, and it’s time to fess up. Nothing like modeling vulnerability and authenticity, right? Here goes…
Vulnerability and authenticity today…
It’s hard to believe I started my coaching business over 22 years ago! Through thousands of one-on-one coaching clients, dozens of group coaching programs, audio programs, retreats, my Conversations with the Masters series, writing my book and more… I’ve had opportunities to stretch, grow, and dance with vulnerability and authenticity.
I’ve been the trusted coach to countless high achieving professionals and business owners, even a couple billionaires. I’ve been blessed to interview many of the biggest names in the spiritual and personal development world like Wayne Dyer, Byron Katie, Adyashanti, Ken Wilber and countless others. I’ve enjoyed wonderful success and the ability to impact tens of thousands of amazing human beings.
If you’re new to my community, you may not know that several years ago I made the conscious choice to scale back my business. Big time. It had A LOT to do with having twin toddlers and wanting to give them as much attention as possible, and keep my sanity intact by taking on less.
I continued to coach my high-achieving clients one-on-one, but I took more than one sabbatical from writing newsletters, put a pause on leading retreats and group programs, and turned down virtually all interviews.
A little over a year ago, I felt compelled to jump back in! It has been an extraordinary year, albeit bumpy too. In the spirit of transparency, it has been far more challenging than I expected.
It’s almost ridiculous how much has changed since my “more immersed in mommyhood than businesshood days.” In many ways, it was like starting a brand spanking new business.
To come up to speed technology wise, meant becoming a “beginner” again and again. Gratefully, I have strong “learning and growing” muscles, even if I roll my eyes at times. My tutelage included how to’s in creating and leading webinars, online courses, Facebook groups, Facebook Lives and Zoom. Plus a multitude of other fancy software apps to make life easier.
I wish it had only been the tech to come up to speed with.
The truth is, my confidence had also taken a serious hit. Did people still want to hear from me? Would they be interested in my new programs? Were my best business days behind me? Could I really balance mommy stuff into a new super successful expanded business?
Fortunately, the sense of aliveness and joy that comes with bringing this inner peace and personal growth work to you tickles my soul. I love finding fresh ways to deliver transformational programs to you, especially ones that uplevel your inner peace.
And I’m grateful for the warm re-welcome from many of my subscribers who had missed my newsletters and program offerings big time! That warmed my heart, and affirmed my calling.
To hold my feet to the fire, I joined two respected colleagues’ yearlong group coaching programs. It felt super vulnerable and risky, but I wanted the accountability, brainstorming and knew I needed to polish up my thinking and wobbly confidence to allow my “what’s next” to emerge. I also invested in several other online digital courses to accelerate the learning curve. Turns out, this is my new favorite way to learn AND teach programs! Hint. Hint.
If you’ve done decades of personal growth work like I have, sometimes we WISH there wasn’t another layer to confront, heal or evolve through. But, I’m glad I made the conscious choice to be “all in!”
Perhaps you too, have hesitated in getting the first class support you need to transition through a rough patch, tackle your current challenges, recalibrate your confidence or uplevel your inner peace. Don’t skimp on yourself. Don’t let your deepest longings go unmet.
I can’t imagine that be at this juncture if I had not made significant investments in personal and business growth last year. If my millionaire and billionaire clients still lean on coaches, if my coaches have coaches, then why not sharpen my own edges of potential? Getting support is not weakness. It’s smart.
And there is magic in groups, both in gleaning wisdom from the leaders, and in the interactions and support from participants. It’s one of the reasons that even with all the craziness of 2020, including distance learning with kiddos for half the year, I’m stronger and more grounded than ever. I was constantly being inspired.
I share all this not because I like tooting my own horn, but to illustrate the power of group coaching and digital courses as a support mechanism in accelerating your desired results, even if you’re already successful by most people’s standards.
I want you to get excited about these learning platforms as you uplevel your mindset, inner peace skills, strengthen habits and figure out your “what’s next.”
And maybe like me, you already know how transformational group programs and digital courses are, and are simply hungry for more!
Announcing… my new business direction!
My one-on-one practice has always been inherently limited, which is why I began leading group coaching programs in the past, most notably my yearlong “Success and Inner Peace Bootcamp.” It allowed me to help exponentially more people in less time. In countless ways, it was even more valuable than one-on-one coaching. Many of you were part of it, and remain close to members in your group! I loved leading these and still hold a warm place in my heart for each and every participant.
Unfortunately, I had to stop leading these dynamic groups to free up time and energy for my growing family. But, I’m ready to go again!
For awhile now, I’ve felt called to transition to almost exclusively leading live group coaching programs and online digital courses (pre-recorded self-paced, self-study programs). I’m super excited about rolling these out to you!!! I hope you’re equally eager to learn more about them, and join me in one or more of these transformational programs. It’s my intention that you love every aspect being poured into them and feel I’ve designed them perfectly for you.
More importantly, I want to support you to authentically love every aspect of your life, create results, get out of your own way, grow, evolve and bathe in more inner peace.
While I’ll probably always support a few favorite one-on-one coaching clients, I’m thrilled about this new direction.
It does feel somewhat vulnerable to share this new direction.
I don’t have everything figured out just yet, and there is a heap loads in the works. But, that’s okay.
More than ever, I’m trusting my inner guidance, knowing this is exactly what I’m meant to do, and that I’m more than capable to delivering world class programs that create last change. I have solid support… and am not afraid of asking for help when needed, both with my hired team and outside coaches. I will continue to push the edges of my vulnerability and authenticity because I know I’m on the right track when I do.
If you’re navigating a transition or challenging time, it’s okay. Even very the most experienced feel wobbly at times. Trust your inner guidance, get support and give yourself permission to be vulnerable and authentic. The reward is more aliveness, joy and ecstatic inner peace. You’ve got this! And I’m here for you.
What’s coming next… sneak preview!
FREE 14 Day Inner Peace Experiment – March 22 – April 5, 2021. Last year, we did a 30 day “inner peace experiment” and it was a HUGE success. Super transformational for those who played full out, so we’re doing it again! Look for an invitation and details coming soon.
Here’s what one participant shared about her experience last year, which overlapped with the beginning of stay-at-home orders.
“Before working with Mary Allen, I considered myself a perfectionist and people pleaser. I resisted being judged and frequently got upset at myself. In an effort to prevent mistakes, I worked hard to prove myself, and my stress levels were high. It was so helpful to take a step back when I joined Mary’s Inner Peace Experiment. Midway through the program, the pandemic spiked! Spiritually, I was able to deal with things unbelievably better than I could’ve imagined — shifting to work from home, teaching kindergartners online and finding new ways to exercise at home. It wouldn’t have been the same without Mary’s support. It was helpful to see another way to process things. She’s a good model. I now give myself permission to be who I am, and fully embrace my humanity. I notice triggers now, but that doesn’t mean have to react. I simply pause and get back to a grounded spot first. I have a sharpened focus, more relaxed, am more adaptable to change and am enjoying life more.”
~ Mary Grace, Teacher
Inner Peace Reset: Claim inner peace as your new normal in challenging times and long beyond. This is the brand new 6 week group coaching program I lead in the Fall, but we changed the name (it was “Radical Reset”… but there were trademark issues… c’est la vie!)
Inner Peace Reset is all about mastering the mindset, skills, and habits needed to allow you to quickly “reset” whenever life throws you curveballs. You’ll dial in your “what’s next” and leave feeling more grounded than ever! And you’ll have the formula to “radically reset” any time you need it.
It was awesome to witness the transformations during our 6 short weeks together… solidifying new habits around movement, clarifying focus and mastering new ways to gracefully stay and get centered… no matter what. One-on-one coaching in the group setting accelerated breakthroughs.
The next Inner Peace Reset begins at the end of April. Keep opening these emails for details or email me at mary@lifecoachmary.com to join the waiting list to be the first to hear about it. Join us for this nurturing experience.
And more in the works…
I’ve also got a couple other programs in the works. “Radical Inner Peace” will be a deep dive into the “12 Facets of Inner Peace,” a framework I taught at my Inner Peace Immersion Retreats. This is for you, if you consider yourself a connoisseur of transformational growth work, yet feel stymied in elevating yourself to new heights. You’re serious about clearing the emotional, mental, spiritual and physical debris from all the nooks and crannies in your life.
And, depending on the interest from my community, I’m considering a brand new mastermind program called “Success and Inner Peace Mastery.” It’ll include the best elements from my popular “Success and Inner Peace Bootcamps,” with some added depth to give you a world class experience as you push the edges of your potential while simultaneously grounding inner peace in life-changing ways.
Is one or more of these programs already stirring excitement inside of you? Are you thinking, “I’m SO glad you’re doing these programs!!! This is exactly what I’ve been looking for in 2021! Thank you, thank you!”
Email me privately at mary@lifecoachmary.com and let me know which of these you want to know more about. And please tell me what kind of support would be perfect for you.
Free Weekly Facebook Lives in Inner Peace on Purpose
And finally, if you aren’t already in my Facebook Group Inner Peace on Purpose, come join us! I’m doing weekly Facebook Lives on Thursdays (check group announcements for the time). Whoooo hooooooo! If you’re wanting to find, keep and deepen inner peace in your life, don’t miss these.
If you’re not already part of the Facebook Group, join us here. In addition to weekly Facebook Lives (all previous ones are in the group), I post daily quotes and thought-provoking questions to spur focus, growth and self-awareness. And you’ll find an amazing group of like-minded people who value inner peace and personal growth sharing along the way. Hope to see you there if you aren’t already.
That’s it for this week.
Here’s to your success, inner peace, vulnerability and authenticity,
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