Drs. Gay & Kathlyn Hendricks
Best-selling authors of Conscious Loving,
The Conscious Heart, Conscious Living,
Spirit-Centered Relationships, Lasting Love,
Learning to Love Yourself, and more!!
* Do you aspire to have deeply intimate connections in your romantic relationships?
* Are you intrigued with the idea of having an "enlightened relationship"?
* Would you love to access secrets to addressing issues around sex, money and other challenges in relationships?
* Are you ready to RECEIVE more from all of your relationships?
During this interview we'll explore:
* The FIVE Questions that can resolve most relationship problems?
* The secret ingredients of DEEPLY INTIMATE relationships.
* How to shift your consciousness to RESOLVE relationship conflicts.
* Why keeping agreements is essential in any thriving relationship.
* How to stop blaming and stop being a victim in relationships, once and for all.
* How to cultivate a full body-and-soul COMMITMENT , and identify sabotaging "unconscious commitments".
* Discover what may be getting in the way of RECEIVING the love you desire.
A Personal Note from Life Coach Mary:
I was profoundly affected by the work of Drs. Gay and Kathlyn Hendricks 10 years ago! Centering and the Art of Intimacy (one of their first books) was simple, straightforward and spoke immediately to my heart. They introduced a concept of having an "enlightened relationship" versus an "entanglement". They emphasize: "experience feelings," "tell the truth, " and "keep agreements." I've aspired to integrate these concepts into my own relationships ever since. It's been a joy to see this amazing couple publish book after book, as they've taken their work deeper and expanded their presence in the world. They are truly my favorite relationship experts. Their impact goes beyond relationships... it's all about living Conscious Lives.
Kathlyn Hendricks has been a pioneer in the field of body-mind integration for 30 years.
Gay Hendricks, Ph.D., is the author and co-author of twenty-five books in conscious relationship, conscious business and bodymind transformation.
Her explorations of the catalytic power of the creative arts in psychotherapy and organizational systems have been featured in magazines, journals and books such as Transpersonal Approaches to Counseling and Psychotherapy, Chocolate for a Women's Soul, Getting in Touch, Personal Transformation and the Handbook of Workplace Spirituality.
She has consulted and taught in the graduate programs of many universities, including the University of Colorado, Union Graduate School, Antioch University, Naropa Institute and the Santa Barbara Graduate Institute.
She is the co-author of ten books, including Conscious Loving and The Conscious Heart, and the author of a book of poetry, A Waterbaby Contemplates Dry Land.
He was Professor of Counseling for twenty-one years at the University of Colorado, where he began teaching in 1974 shortly after receiving his doctorate from Stanford University.
Over the past 24 years of their relationship, he and Kathlyn have raised two children, accumulated a million frequent flyer miles and appeared on more than 500 radio and television programs.
The 7 Discoveries
by Gay & Kathlyn Hendricks
REPRINTED with Permission. Copyright 2004.
The First Principle
Relationships thrive when each partner commits to total union with the other person and total creative expression as an individual.
The First Magic Move
Make a heartfelt commitment to the other person that you're willing to go beyond all your ego-defenses to fully initiate unity. At the same time, make a commitment to going all the way with your creative expression. Then observe the emergence of your defensive barriers every day. Report them honestly, but don't take them seriously. In fact, ego defenses disappear quickly when you turn them into play.
The Second Principle
Relationships thrive when each partner learns from every relationship interaction, especially the stressful ones, instead of running programmed defensive moves. Some popular defensive moves: criticizing, listening-filters, lying, sulking in silence, making noisy uproars, numbing out with food, drink, smoke, TV and other habit-forming drugs.
The Second Magic Move
Make a heartfelt commitment to learning something new from every relationship interaction. Notice your defensive moves as they emerge, and gradually transplant wondering and truth-speaking in place of defensiveness.
The Third Principle
Relationships thrive in a climate of absolute honesty - no hidden feelings or withheld truths. All feelings - anger, sadness, joy, fear, sexual attraction - are okay to discuss with the other person, and each person is able to listen, free of listening-filters such as listening-to-find-fault and listening-to-fix.
The Third Magic Move
Notice your feelings and thoughts, and speak about them to your partner. If there are things you've done or feelings you're afraid to talk about, make sure to speak about those to your partner. Get familiar with your habitual listening-filters, and practice summarizing what the other person is saying, with no distortion, an acknowledging the feelings embedded in communication.
The Fourth Principle
Relationships thrive when people keep their agreements impeccably. It doesn't matter whether an agreement seems trivial ("Sorry, honey, but I forgot to take the trash out.") or significant ("Sorry, honey, but I slept with your twin sister and the maid of honor the night before our wedding.") There is no such thing as a minor lapse of integrity, according to Tom Peters, and our experience has confirmed this radical notion.
The Fourth Magic Move
Monitor each agreement you make very carefully, making sure you want to make it in the first place. Once you make an agreement, fulfill it impeccably or change it consciously by communicating with the relevant person.
The Fifth Principle
People thrive in a climate of 100% accountability, where nobody blames or claims victim status. 100% accountability is the shift from "I was wronged" to "I take full responsibility for events occurring the way they did." From this empowered position, problems can be solved quickly, because time and energy are not squandered in a fruitless attempt to find fault.
The Fifth Magic Move
In any situation, claim responsibility for having created it the way it occurred. Wonder about how and why you might have wanted it to occur that way. Speak in empowered language rather than victim language ("I choose to go to the dentist" rather than "I have to go to the dentist." "I take responsibility for eating so that I have a healthy body," rather than "Why did you buy that huge bucket of buttered popcorn? You know I can't resist it.")
The Sixth Principle
Relationships flourish when partners appreciate each other liberally. People grow more beautiful through our appreciation of them. Relationships take a quantum leap when each partner practices appreciation of the other person as a daily art form.
The Sixth Magic Move
Invent new ways to appreciate the other person every day, and speak appreciations frequently. Live inside questions such as, "What is my partner's true essence and how can I invite it forth?" And "What could I appreciate about my partner at this moment?"
The Seventh Principle
Everything can be resolved with willingness and love. Love is the ultimate healer and liberator, because only love is vast enough to embrace its opposite. In other words, you can love yourself even when you hate yourself, and the hate will melt in the larger presence off love. Whatever emerges in a close relationship is the next thing that needs to be loved.
The Seventh Magic Move
Love as much as you can from wherever you are.
Reprinted with permission. Copyright 2004. Gay & Kathlyn Hendricks. All rights reserved. WWW.HENDRICKS.COM