“The Compounding Effect of Choice” by Mary Allen

Most people are familiar with the compounding effect of money, as its key to the long-term accumulation of wealth.  Saving a few hundred dollars each month grows into tens of thousands over time.  The principles of compounding also apply in every area of our lives, whether we like it or not.  Internalize the simple principles in this article and adopt them for a lifetime.   Doing so will allow you to more easily stay focused on what is most important to you and take the necessary action steps to realize your desires. Willingness is the key. The compounding effect of choice is made up of two simple principles. The Mastery and Mediocrity diagram below illustrates this concept visually.   Principle #1 "It is the simple disciplines (choices), that don't seem to make any difference at all in the moment; HOWEVER repeated over time, the compounded affect makes all the difference in the world." Principle #2 "It is the simple errors in judgment, that don't seem to make any difference at all in the moment; HOWEVER repeated over time, the compounded affect makes all the difference in the world." Principle #1 in Action – "Simple Disciplines" - Focus on the upper side of the graph above.  The x-axis on the diagram depicts the role of time, while the y-axis represents the growth in mastery or success of something important to you.  This could represent progress in your profession, leadership, relationships, health, mothering, creative expression or cultivating a sense of inner peace. Each tick mark in the diagram represents one action, or "one simple discipline" or "one simple choice."  Unfortunately, the choices acted upon in the earlier stages don't reflect much growth for quite awhile. Much like saving a few hundred dollars each month, it doesn't SEEM to add up to much in the beginning stages. Without referencing this graph, it may feel discouraging and you may choose to quit before reaching your desired outcome.  However, if you were to continue repeating "it's the simple disciplines (choices), that don't seem to make any difference at all," AND continued to take simple actions, the compounding effect would eventually kick in.  You would ultimately experience the growth and success you desire.  It's simply a matter of time - AND CONSISTENT action.  How often do people quit when they are nearing the finish line? There are three important elements in the compounding effect of choice. 1. Compounding Effect – Your actions will ADD upon the others. 2. Choice – ACTING or NOT ACTING is always a choice.  Choose consciously.  Frequency and effort make a difference. 3.  Time – Actions taken over time GROW. This visual representation has proven useful to me throughout the last decade and continues to keep me on track with important objectives.  Here's one of the ways I used this principle to support my goal of fitness. Personal Story – When I lived in Dallas, I frequented the gym.  There were many days that I did NOT feel like going.  Once there, often times I didn't feel like being there.  Can you relate? However, I simply repeated the following words in my head, over and over again. "It's the simple disciplines, that don't seem to make any difference at all, in the moment, but the compounded effect makes all the difference in the world."  Clearly, my one little workout wasn't transforming my body into a Cindy Crawford.  I could see that each time I looked in the mirror.   It WAS discouraging in the moment.  However, I had faith in the process, and these simple words of wisdom.  I trusted the compounded effect of many workouts over time, combined with a matching nutrition regime, WOULD give me results. My current level of fitness is a clear reflection that the compounding effect of choice works! Ultimately, the habit of working out became second nature, and I rarely need to repeat, "It's the simple disciplines, that don't seem to make any difference at all, in the moment, but the compounded effect makes all the difference in the world."  However, in the early days, I used it almost every day! Brand this principle into your being, and use it anytime you feel discouraged or uninspired to act (I do!).  It's a great reminder of the bigger picture. Simple Disciplines – Simple Choices - Reflect upon the compounding effect for each of the simple choices below.  The principle applies well in health, relationships, business success, money, self-care, self-esteem and in evolving one's Consciousness.  The principle also applies well in cultivating internal emotions and states of being, such as love, joy and inner peace.  Anything repeated over time ultimately creates a compounded result.  What results in your life would you like to compound?

• Reading 10 pages of a good book
• Eating healthfully
• Spending quality time with your children
• Working out
• A simple act of kindness
• Saying, "I love you" to a loved one
• Yoga or stretching
• Meditating
• Focusing on what you appreciate
• Avoiding sugar or caffeine
• Drinking a gallon of water per day
• Saving money
• Attending seminars
• Listening to educational CD's
• Getting up early
• Cleaning off your desk each day
• Volunteering
• Listening closely to others
• One extra hour of work
• Being honest
• Being on time
• Pursuing a dream

"It is the simple disciplines (choices), that don't seem to make any difference at all in the moment; HOWEVER repeated over time, the compounded affect makes all the difference in the world."

Principle #2 in Action – "simple errors in judgment":

If you want to successfully boil a frog, it's best to turn the heat up over time or the frog will jump out and escape.  I wish no ill will to frogs, however it makes the point about "simple errors in judgment."  These little actions or non-actions seem relatively harmless initially and for a period of time.  However, the compounding effect leads us to less pleasant results in our lives.  This is the model of mediocrity. "It is the SIMPLE ERRORS in judgment, that don't seem to make any difference at all in the moment, HOWEVER repeated over time, the compounded effect makes all the difference in the world." This principle is clearly illustrated in the lower portion of the diagram above.  Again the x-axis depicts the role of time, while the y-axis represents the accumulated negative impact or atrophy resulting from specific habits.  The results range from mediocrity to disaster.  This graph may depict the negative compounding effect of actions or non-action in any of the categories named above.  I find it most useful to apply this principle to the habits I would like to change. Each tick mark in the diagram represents one "simple error in judgment."   As is the case in accumulating credit card debt, a little each month doesn't seem like a big deal.  The negative consequences don't reflect much impact for quite awhile. Without referencing this graph, it may seem that watching two hours of mindless television each night isn't hurting you in any way.   You may simply continue watching every day, while complaining about needing more time to pursue an important dream.  Two hours of television is relatively harmless.  However, the compounding effect of this "simple error in judgment" translates to 728 hours of television per year!  That is over 30 full 24-hour days in a year! Remember these elements in the negative compounding effect of choice. 1. Compounding Effect – Negative actions and non-actions ADD upon the others and create a cumulative effect. 2. Choice – ACTING or NOT ACTING is always a choice.  Choose consciously.  Frequency and lack of effort make a different. 3. Time – "Simple errors in judgment" create ATROPHY over time. Examples of "Simple Errors in Judgment." - Reflect upon the impact of the items I've included on the list below.  Some of these may initially appear harmless.   What consequences could result over time in compounding these "simple errors in judgment"?  What other "simple errors of judgment" would you add to this list?  This list is not intended to elicit feelings of guilt or remorse.  We have all exercised "simple errors in judgment."  Use this list to stimulate awareness.  In later chapters, you may or may not consciously decide to address something from this list.

• Watching mindless television
• Not saving money
• Spending more than you earn
• Being late
• Complaining
• Gossiping
• Eating a cheeseburger or fries
• Overeating
• Spending time with negative people
• Dwelling on negative thoughts
• Interrupting people
• Not being fully present when listening
• Speeding
• Smoking or using drugs
• Disorganization
• Listening to loud, abrasive music
• Staying up late or sleeping in
• Excessive time on the internet
• Not working out
• Not being friendly with others
• Criticizing yourself or others
• Procrastination
• Maintaining a stressful lifestyle
• Not taking personal time for yourself
• Laziness - performing below your capacity
• Not expressing appreciation to your partner
• Time in a dead-end job
• Too many desserts or candy
• Arguing

Contrast and Compare - Another way to use this model is to compare a "simple discipline" or "simple error in judgment" with another.

•  If you read 10 pages of a good book today, and I don't, the difference between you and I on that day is pretty negligible.  In fact, after a month, the difference is still not that great.  However, if you continue to read 10 pages of a good book each day for the next ten years, the difference between you and I will be CONSIDERABLE.  If you focused your attention in a specific area of focus over that ten-year period, it's likely that you would be an expert in your field.
• If I eat one ice cream bar today, and you don't, the difference in our level of health is not very significant.  However, if I eat an ice cream bar every day for a whole year, and you don't – all things being equal – there will likely be a CONSIDERABLE difference in our health.

Cumulative Discipline - Generally, it's not just about the ONE single discipline, or one simple error of judgment.  Some of our choices support our growth, and some don't.  Becoming aware of these choices is the first step.  Seeing a visual representation of their respective impact is also useful in fine-tuning our choice points.  There will be numerous simple disciplines you'll apply over and over again on your path of growth.  Enjoy the journey. Portions taken from Chapter 3 - The Power of Inner Choice by Mary Allen.  Explore 12 Fundamental Choices that will forever change the way you make choices and experience life. Filed under Emotional Muscles, Inner Peace 101, Inner Peace Practices, Inner Peace Strategies | Comment (0)

“New Year Creation: 2012″ by Mary Allen

Below are five related processes for a clarifying your 2012 vision.  Since each of us is wired differently, it's useful to find the most effective visioning strategy for you.  Some people LOVE to write goals, others avoid the process. Some love details, while others are bottom-line. Some people LOVE visualizations, and yet others do best in verbalizing their dreams to others.  Which style or styles resonate with you? The most important element in crystallizing your vision is finding a medium that allows you to connect "emotionally" to your vision.  We often identify goals intellectually, yet find ourselves disassociated and not compelled to achieve them.  The juice, inspiration and magic unfolds when we are "emotionally engaged" with our visions.  If you've set goals in the past with disappointing results, this may be the missing link. Being able to see, hear, feel and fully associate with what you DESIRE most, is the KEY to magnetizing it to you. If you desire an amazing relationship, how would you FEEL if that partner was already in your life?  How would you treat them?  What activities would you enjoy together?   If you desire a thriving business, what activities would fill up your day?  Who would you spend time with?  How confident and decisive would you be?  If you desire a fit and trim body, can you imagine yourself eating healthy foods and looking forward to visiting the gym?  What would it feel like to be 15 pounds lighter? ENGAGING the SENSES in your VISION 1.  Treasure Mapping - Creating a collage is an excellent way to engage the senses.  This process involves finding pictures and words that capture your vision or visions.  Magazines are great resources since advertising is designed to engage us emotionally.  A picture says a thousand words...and at least a dozen emotions.  A picture of a man and woman holding hands at the beach may embody feelings of romance, magic, love, connection and fulfillment.  What body-type are you striving for?  Where would you like to travel?  What kind of home would you like to live in?  Find the pictures that resonate with you.  Look for words to embody that will support you in achieving your goals - in business or personal - such as "integrity", "confidence", "creativity", "value" or one of my favorites "joy".  Create your own visuals when necessary with personal photos or Photoshop. In 2004, I created an awesome treasure map, and nearly EVERYTHING on the poster came true.  I "made-up" the concept of "Conversations with the Masters" that year...and interviewed three of the authors I had cut out pictures of - Byron Katie, Dr. David Hawkins and Wayne Dyer.  I also had a picture of me and a wedding dress (I met my now husband in 2004).  I also created a mock book cover, and something shifted in me when I saw "by Mary Allen" on the cover.  It was August 2004 when all the pieces came together to get my first book published!!   I also cut out an Oprah Magazine cover and created a headline and put my picture on it.  In August, I was noting all that I was manifesting and thought, "I wonder how this is going to happen (meaning Oprah)."  About three days later, I received a call from The Oprah Winfrey Show. I've done several Treasure Maps since then, with comparable results! Use "treasure mapping" as a fun, creative way to expand your vision of what's possible.  Doing this with a group is also inspiring.  The visual creates an emotional connection that creates magic. 2.  The Written Word - From listing out 10 to 100 Goals in bullet format, to describing your vision in a paragraph with lots of juicy details...the written word is highly effective at engaging the senses.  Write it down.  Don't underestimate the power of taking a passing thought and giving it life on paper.  The more you describe your vision in detail the more REAL and associated it becomes in our nervous systems.  The secret here is finding the language to elicit the emotions in YOU.  I'm a big fan of writing down my top 25 goals each year.  And, I like to challenge my clients to write a "vision paragraph" articulating their most important goals.  You may include descriptors of the end result, including how you and others feel.  It's also helpful to describe the process in which you achieved the goal.  What resources did you access?  What steps did you take? Was it easy or difficult?  Again, what feelings & emotions are present? Examples from various clients... WRITING VISION To organize and express my thoughts, feelings and experiences in a way that touches, inspires and empowers others to make new shifts, gain a better understanding of themselves & others, so they ultimately experience more abundance, love, energy, peace, joy and freedom inside themselves. To awaken lives to a higher possibility of themselves through books, articles and courses. To creatively pursue new avenues of expression, such as media, to get the message out to more individuals in an enjoyable, and effective format that touches their hearts. RELATIONSHIP VISION To deepen my soul connection with my life partner by enjoying, respecting, empowering and loving one another unconditionally. To share in open and honest communication, "seeing" and "being seen", listening intently, while expressing and receiving love. To experience the joys, adventures and challenges in life with ease and resonance. To inspire other couples of what's possible in an intimate partnership. To experience a passionate, sensual, spiritual intimate relationship that exudes ecstasy, love and nourishment at the soul level. To learn, grow and evolve together in a safe, nurturing, forgiving and loving environment, ultimately bringing out the best of each individual. To create a family together that exemplifies our love and provides a nurturing home to our amazing children. HEALTH VISION To create and live a lifestyle which consistently causes me to be at my physical and emotional best, exemplifying and inspiring high standards of vitality, energy and physical beauty. To create a lean body with beautiful definition. No longer doing things with willpower, doing them with energy and power to burn. Every day in every way fulfilling the ideal of health. 3.  VISUALIZATIONS - Using the power of your mind to cultivate and embody your vision is another powerful resource.  Again, the more detail and emotion you can FEEL and bring to life in your body, the more effective it is in eliciting the inspiration, creativity and action necessary to fulfill your goal or dream.  Clarifying and identifying the end result and associated feelings and emotions through any of these exercises is useful preparation, and well worth the initial time investment.  Spending even a few minutes each day to expand and FEEL your vision being realized is potent.  To help you with this process I recommend Shakti Gawain's book "Creative Visualization."  If you missed my interview with her last week, you can access it here. 4.  FINDING A THEME -  What is your theme for  2012?  This is not about your resolutions or specific goals with "do by" dates (though I recommend that too!). This is your guiding compass for the upcoming year. Your theme will likely encompass many of your goals, but maybe not all of them.  Last year my theme was SPACIOUSNESS...and indeed, my schedule opened up allowing more time for relaxation and we moved into a home with more space!  This year my theme is TRUST.  Trusting my intuition and inner guidance. Trusting my body to communicate its needs, and me to respond!  Trusting into Divine synchronicity, being connected to the right people at the right time.  Trusting the abundance of the Universe. In my group coaching programs, I've seen clients take on all kinds of themes.  JOY, Gratitude, Abundance, Extreme Self-Care and others. One client selected "The Year of the Donkey" to represent his commitment to losing weight, so he'd be below the 200 pound mark, and eligible to ride a donkey into the Grand Canyon. What do you feel energy and excitement around?  What engages your imagination and feels compelling?  What theme would serve as your best guiding compass for the year? 5.  New Year Creation Questions.  Years ago, my first coach gave me a unique set of questions to help create the New Year by engaging the senses in a non-traditional way.  Who said goal-setting needs to be a linear process.  You may use one or more of the questions below to stimulate your thinking.   You may want to create an inspiring atmosphere to do this exercise in - i.e. candles, music, nature, by a fire, etc. Have FUN with this process! Here are some additional questions to support your New Year Creating.

• If your vision were a piece of music, what piece would it be?
• If your vision was from nature what would it be? (Tree, ocean, brook..)
• What does it taste like?
• What does it smell like?
• What other senses can you use to develop your vision?
• What if your vision was a thousand times bigger? Describe what it would be.
• Use a metaphor to describe your vision.
• Are you forcing anything?
• Where can you ease off?
• What can you take less seriously?
• Are there any old rules you are holding on to?
• What can you eliminate?
• How would a six-year-old describe your vision?
• Ask yourself some "what if" questions. What if I ______?  (positive what if's!)
• Add one outrageous or wacky element to your vision.

Which of processes above resonates with you? You may gravitate toward one them, or try them all.  Each process engages the senses in a unique way.  The first step is taking the time to CLARIFY and REFINE your vision - and FULLY ASSOCIATING EMOTIONALLY with that vision.  That alone can be effective at creating unbelievable momentum throughout the year. Secondly, super-charge your visions by revisiting your treasure maps, written goals and visions, themes or spend time visualizing - CONSISTENTLY.  While you may utilize one of more of these processes in creating your vision, I recommend selecting ONE process to revisit on a regular basis.  Monthly, weekly or daily.  The more often you connect to your vision emotionally, engaging your senses, the more quickly you are likely to experience it reality. Try it.  Make 2012 spectacular! Filed under Inner Peace Practices, Inner Peace Strategies | Comment (0)

“7 Keys to Transforming Thought” by Mary Allen

We've all experienced the popular notion that "our thoughts shape our reality".  When life is working well, it's easy to focus on thoughts that feel good and perpetuate success and happiness in our lives.  However, what do you do when you are attached to thoughts that clearly don't serve you?  Below are 7 Keys to making the shift. 1.  AWARENESS - Before we can influence our thoughts, we need to become aware of them.  How do you know there is a disempowering thought lurking in your mind?  Your EMOTIONS serve as signals to catch your attention.  These feelings may be subtle or extreme.  A feeling that "something is off", discomfort, anxiety or a mild sense of resistance or depression is worth paying attention to.  Some reactions are blatant and obvious, serving as giant clues that the mind has attached to a thought.  Become a detective and identify the thought or thoughts that are associated with the feeling.  Awareness is the first key.  You cannot shift what you are unaware of. 2.  Is it true in REALITY?  So often, the thoughts that drive our feelings have no basis in reality, leaving us attached to thoughts that are simply fantasy.  When an event happens, our minds instantaneously attach a meaning (meaning is a synonym for "thought") to the occurrence.  Separating the FACTS (what happened) from the MEANING or interpretation is one way to connect to reality.  It's important to recognize the myriad of ways that we distort reality. We EXAGGERATE or MINIMIZE it.  We DENY it. We think it SHOULD be different than it is. We ARGUE with it.  And, we FORECAST it.  Each of these results in stress or anxiety.  When the mind recognizes that a thought is NOT true in reality, it often simply releases the thought.  Getting in touch with the REALITY of the situation is the second key to shifting thoughts. 3.  Identifying Impact - Often times a thought that we investigate appears to be factual or true in reality, yet the resulting feeling is one of stress, anxiety, or sadness.  Death, accidents, unmet expectations, annoying sounds, flat tires, and deflating stock markets happen.   Some of the feelings associated with these events can become "addictive" in a strange way.  We connect with others through sadness or disappointment. The adrenaline rush of anger can also give us a sense of certainty or power.  When a thought is true in reality, but you're finding the result is not serving you -- it's time to identify the impact.  If you continue to attach to this thought, how will it make you feel?  How will you treat others?  How will you live your life if you constantly focus on this thought?  When the mind comprehends that there is more pain associated to a thought than pleasure, the mind often simply let's the thought go. As we discussed in last week, it's also helpful to identify the perceived PAYOFF.  Typically the benefit we unconsciously believe we're receiving, isn't REALLY giving us what we desire.  When the mind realizes this, it lets go of the thought more easily. Identifying the impact is another key to transforming thought. 4.  Willingness - In order for any transformation to occur, one MUST be WILLING to shift.  Someone can know they have a food, TV or alcohol addiction, but without a genuine WILLINGNESS to shift - NOTHING will disrupt the destructive behavior.  Such is the case with thoughts that one is consciously or unconsciously addicted to.  That authentic willingness works magic. 5.  Just Let Go - Sometimes unresourceful thoughts arise, and we can simply let them go because they don't serve us.  The inner critic may say, "Who are you to think you can do that?" or "This isn't going to work", or "What if you fail?"  Maybe the thought is trivial negativity or fixated on something that can't change.  The most powerful part of you can respond with a simple, "Thank you for sharing", and let it go. 6.  Redirect Focus - Our minds are like children.  Whatever you place in front of them becomes the focus of their reality.  When caught up in addictive thoughts, consciously redirect your focus on something more positive or neutral.  If your spouse is running late, embrace the beauty in your environment.  If you find yourself frustrated in traffic, focus on your breathing, music in the car or the opportunity to relax and slow down.  LANGUAGE is a powerful means of redirecting your focus.  Consider shifting your internal dialog.  Choose words that empower you over words that deplete your energy. 7.  SCRAMBLE the Thought - Tony Robbins and NLP practitioners know of this powerful tool, and it's simple for anyone to use by themselves.  You simply must be WILLING to try it.  If you've been embracing a negative mantra over and over in your mind, simply recognizing its impact may not be enough.  Let's take a mantra like, "I have so much to do".  To scramble this sentence, or any other, do the following.

• Say the sentence 5 times really fast in a MICKEY MOUSE voice (yes, I'm serious).
• Say the sentence 5 times really slow in a COWBOY'S voice.
• Say the sentence 5 times is your most SENSUAL and SEDUCTIVE voice.
• Say the sentence 5 times BACKWARDS (i.e. "Do to much so have I").

You must play FULL OUT.  If you're playing full-out, you'll find yourself laughing out loud.  Just continue until you've made it all the way through the 4 steps above.  When you're done, notice how you feel about the original sentence.  Most people experience the sentence as neutral or humorous after completing this exercise.  The addictive thought has been transformed.  Try it!! 8.  Replace It.  As you loosen the grips on the thoughts that don't serve you, it's important to replace them with something more empowering - so the thoughts don't have a home to return to.  Consciously choosing the antithesis of the original thought is a simple solution.  Another way to find a replacement is to turn the statement around. Identifying a thought that is "as true" or "truer" than the original statement.  Or it may simply align more with what you want to create or attract into your life.  In the example above, "I have too much to do", could be transformed into, "I'm on track", or "It's all going to get done".  As long as the replacement is more powerful that the unresourceful, you're on track.   Filed under Inner Peace 101, Inner Peace Culprits, Inner Peace Practices | Comment (0)

Thoughts – Our Greatest Addiction !? by Mary Allen

Every thought we think creates a biochemical response in our bodies.  These reactions vary from negligible to intense. Science has known this for some time.  If we think about food, our saliva glands may be stimulated.  When we think of the person that irritates us most, our bodies constrict and tense up.  When we reflect upon our most fulfilling moments, endorphins are released in our bodies and we feel more relaxed and at peace.  Every memory, whether positive or negative, elicits an internal physical response.  When a sexual thought crosses our mind, well...you know what can happen biologically.  But, I'll keep this article G-rated...you get the idea.  With every thought, there is a bio-chemical response in our body. The impact of the thought on our nervous systems ranges in intensity, according to the level of "emotion" associated with the thought.  For example, reflecting on the death of a love one, is likely to create a deeper emotional response than remembering to buy toothpaste or noticing you stepped on an ant.  The more intense the emotion, the greater the impact the thought has on the physical body and the more likely we may become addicted to it. Thoughts don't require an external stimulus to be elicited, which means we can indulge in any thought repeatedly - at any time we choose. As human beings we experience and enjoy a VARIETY of emotions on a daily basis, yet we also innately seek FAMILIARITY...even if it's NOT positive.  The emotions we experience consistently become a part of our comfort zones and our identities...as they are habitually conditioned into our lives.  Until we get conscious about them we remain victims to these patterns. How CONSCIOUS are you in "choosing" your thoughts?  How conscious are you of the emotional patterns that are running our lives?  What thoughts and emotions are you addicted to?  The quickest way to evaluate this for yourself is to take inventory by noticing the emotions you experience repeatedly throughout the week.  These are the emotions your body has grown accustomed to experiencing...and unconsciously works to elicit. Anger, stress, anxiety, fear, depression, sadness, overwhelm, frustration, guilt, and worry may be a few of the thought/emotional patterns to investigate more closely.  Behind every emotion is a thought or set of thoughts.  This is how they continue to be conditioned. If stress is a common pattern in your life, you may have thoughts such as, "_______needs to be accomplished before I can relax."  Or, "I have too much to do." Or, "I can't get it all done."  If depression is something you experience, something as basic as, "I feel depressed" may be the thought feeding the emotion.  We may have one or multiple thoughts feeding an addictive pattern. You may also experience a variety of positive or empowering emotions also.  Love, joy, happiness, peace, excitement, pleasure, playfulness and a sense of purpose are a few.  Investigating the thoughts associated with empowering emotions is useful because we can learn to strengthen and intensify these, which gives us more fulfillment, power, results and connection. As we understand the nature of thought, and these unconscious addictions, we can begin to more CONSCIOUSLY strengthen thoughts that serve and empower us -- and reduce the impact of the thoughts and emotional patterns that are debilitating.

THE PAYOFF

One of the ways we can break addictions to thoughts and emotional patterns that don't serve us is to look at the "payoff".  We continue to overwork an emotional muscle because at some level we subconsciously believe that it serves us in some way.  A "payoff" is a perceived benefit we receive when we engage the emotional pattern. We may use ANGER because we notice that people pay attention to us more closely with this intense emotion, thus connecting with us and our ideas more.  We may connect to DEPRESSION because it may prevent us from failing if we try...or maybe it allows us to connect to others who share a similar story.  We may enjoy STRESS or ANXIETY because we believe it's what drives our motivation and we fear we'd be less productive if we eliminated it.  We may be addicted to GUILT because that means we care.  We may wallow in thoughts of ROMANCE because it gives us hope. Unfortunately, the benefit we subconsciously believe we're receiving, is generally NOT really giving us the FULL BENEFIT we desire.  For example, with ANGER...are people REALLY paying more attention?  Are they connecting with us and our ideas in the manner we truly desire?  When we're STRESSED and ANXIOUS are we really MORE productive or less productive?  Is GUILT, the most effective way to demonstrate that we care?  Does DEPRESSION keep us safe from failing, or do we experience a greater sense of failure in the state of depression.  With virtually EVERY dis-empowering emotion there is a false payoff we subconsciously connect to, and that keeps us locked unconsciously in this addictive pattern. However, if we slow down and question this logically, we'll quickly see that the payoff isn't really giving us what we're seeking.  When we do this, the mind has a way of releasing its grip on that thought.  Thus, creating room for a new emotional and thought pattern that can serve us better. SOULFUL Challenge:  Increase your AWARENESS around the most dominant thoughts that you experience throughout your week.  Pay close attention to the emotional patterns that aren't empowering you.  Identify the thoughts or set of thoughts that are driving the emotion.  See if you can find the subconscious "payoff" or benefit that allows you to indulge in this pattern, and see if it's REALLY giving you what you desire.  You may experience the pattern diminishing or vanishing completely. Filed under Inner Peace 101, Inner Peace Culprits, Inner Peace Practices, Inner Peace Strategies | Comment (1)

A 365 Goal by Mary Allen

What?  A 365 day goal?  Yes.  A 365 day goal is a year long commitment you make to yourself as a resolution with an ongoing commitment. Every year we set a variety of goals.  Some can be achieved in a week, month, or quarter.  Some goals take several years to realize.  There is another category of goals that can only be achieved through consistent daily (or nearly daily) action.   Working out, flossing teeth, meditating or reading books are examples of worthy "daily habits" or "daily rituals" or "365 day goals."  The 365 day goal may also be something you decide to give up, much like many Catholics do during lent.  Examples could be giving up swearing, alcohol, candy or a favorite unhealthy food.  The result of your 365 day goal should deliver a positive effect in your life by its exclusion or inclusion -- and by your year-long commitment. These 365 day type of goals are important for TWO reasons.  First, we get the positive "compounding effect" of a simple discipline repeated over the course of a year.  Secondly, we get to experience "discipline" for the sake of discipline.  Cultivating will-power brings a sense of control and power, while it also tames the ego.  Many spiritual practices encourage a simple discipline practice for this reason.  It forces you to make deliberate and conscious choices throughout the year about that single discipline.  And, the compounding effect delivers more value than otherwise random follow through.  So, it's a double win. This year, my 365 day goal is "no French fries."  Yep.  So far, so good, no fries for Mary.  Now, I don't really eat fries THAT often (maybe 2-3x a month), but I do love them -- especially when they're good ones!!  And, I know they aren't good for me.  And, I'll be stepping into a wedding dress in a few months.  And, I love making a 365 day goal.  This one seemed like the perfect one for me this year. Another year, I committed to giving up Diet Coke, because I was drinking about three to four a day.  After the first two weeks, it was easy.  Since then (1992), I've probably only less than a dozen sodas.  Some goals become permanent, and others are just a one year commitment.  Anything that I start to notice as a pattern in my life, that doesn't serve me, I like to nip because I don't like being controlled by something outside of me. One year, Tony Robbins committed to working out EVERY day...and found himself on the exercise bike at 2am on some days.  While he got in great shape that year...he also got the power of discipline.  And, a great story to share. You may also quantify your goal differently, to be more achievable, such as committing to working out four or five days a week (on average) for an entire year.  The goal ought to stretch you, but still be doable.  Here's a list of ideas to get your juices flowing.  I'm sure you can add to this list.  Don't feel that you must do ALL or ANY of these...the point is to commit to ONE for a whole year -- one that is perfect for YOU.    Focusing on too many 365 day goals is counterproductive.  Find something that resonates for you...and commit, really commit!!  What would be the impact 365 days from now if you...?

• Meditate Daily (a true 365 day goal -- no exceptions)
• No Chocolate or Candy
• No TV (or 2 hours per week max...and really hold yourself to it)
• Average 5 workouts per week
• Floss Daily
• Say "I love you" to spouse or loved one
• No swearing
• Read 30 Books (I did that one year...and found myself reading 10 books in December!)
• No alcohol (one friend did this...and loved how he felt, so never started again)
• Save $_____per month (no matter what)
• Write down 25 Appreciations each day
• No French Fries or Fried Food
• No pasta
• No breads
• No Ice Cream
• Vitamins Daily
• Walk dog daily (somebody furry will love this one)
• Make bed daily
• Wash dishes daily
• No fast food
• Yoga or stretching daily
• An act of kindness daily (you can always visit Denny's a midnight to find people to be kind too)
• No complaining
• No gossiping
• Write in journal daily
• Express "appreciation" to spouse daily
• Hug at least one person daily
• No soda (I know some of you NEED to do this one)
• No coffee (replace with Green Tea)
• No cheese or no dairy
• No red meat
• Read 10 pages of a good book daily
• Writing daily (great for writers!)
• Calling a loved one daily
• Visualizing a goal daily
• Sending yourself unconditional love
• Purposefully feeling JOY daily

Have fun with this.  I'm missing my French fries, but I have to admit I feel GREAT when I've "just said no." Feel free to share with me your commitment for the year, and maybe you'll inspire other readers by your 365 day goal. Filed under Inner Peace 101, Inner Peace Practices | Comment (1)

End of Year Completion by Mary Allen

Sometime between now and the end of the year, set aside some interrupted time to journal your answers to the questions below.  I personally like to curl up next to a warm fire, light candles and get comfy, allowing plenty of time to reflect upon the year coming to an end. Give yourself this gift this year.  It's a powerful way to complete and acknowledge your year.  1. What are your disappointments, failures, and breakdowns? Let's acknowledge what these items are....this is an opportunity to let them go, carry them forward, or make a new promise. 2. Make a second list titled: Successes, Wins and Accomplishments. This is a chance to celebrate and own who you have become this year, and your achievements. Where did you step into your power and greatness? Please don't skimp on these. The little stuff counts. NO modesty allowed. Let's validate all your accomplishments. Look through your organizer to remind you. 3. What have you learned about yourself and your life? What insights have you gained? True insights have the transformational capability of shifting us into a new, more alive place! As we are blessed with insights it is important to nurture and deepen these new understandings. 4. What are you grateful for? This list might include some of the above and anything else you truly appreciate about yourself or any other area of your life. There is a basic principle. Whatever you appreciate and give thanks for will increase in your life. (For this question... I like to be REALLY thorough, counting the big and little things I'm truly grateful for. That means don't limit to yourself to ONE page.) 5. How will you celebrate and honor your year 2011 accomplishments? What would be a fun, special thing to do for yourself? Filed under Inner Peace 101, Inner Peace Practices, Inner Peace Strategies | Comment (0)

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Every industry has its own jargon, and so does the industry of coaching.  If you're not already familiar with the concept of "tolerations, buy Amoxicillin from canada," let me do the honors and share why dedicating time each week eliminating tolerations, Amoxicillin results, is one of the most life-transforming commitments you can make.

What is a Toleration??

A Toleration is something you've been putting up with, putting off or not dealing with -- that drains your energy.  It could be as simple as a button missing off your favorite shirt, kjøpe Amoxicillin på nett, köpa Amoxicillin online, a cluttered desk, Is Amoxicillin safe, or thank you cards you've been meaning to send.  When that "something" isn't handled, just thinking about it zaps your already depleted energy.

Some "tolerations" are small and could be handled quickly, but get put off because they're not urgent.  Procrastination is the breeding ground of "tolerations."  There is also a TIME component to Tolerations.  The longer a "pesky little task" is "not handled," the more energy is drained, Buy Amoxicillin Without Prescription.

Tolerations come in all shapes and sizes.  Writing them down on a list is the first step in addressing these energy vampires and freeing up precious energy, australia, uk, us, usa.

Let's help you take inventory of 9 types of "tolerations" in your life, Amoxicillin blogs, so you can start tackling them - one at a time, and create more energy in your life.  I've included examples to get you thinking.

1.  Clutter, Amoxicillin forum, Cleanliness and Organization is a big one!  Take a look at the piles of papers on your desk, Order Amoxicillin no prescription, overstuffed closets, messy drawers, refrigerator, online buying Amoxicillin, dirty car (inside or outside), Amoxicillin recreational, messy garage, etc.

2.  What needs fixing?  Are your electronics working?  Cell phone, Amoxicillin dosage, stereo, Japan, craiglist, ebay, overseas, paypal, computer?  Lighting in office?  Button missing from favorite shirt. Buy Amoxicillin Without Prescription, Shoes needing polish?  Scan your office and home environments. Is anything broken??.

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4.  Unfinished Projects or Lingering To-Do's.  Thank you notes to send, buy Amoxicillin without prescription, a proposal or presentation to prepare, Canada, mexico, india, shopping for X, update resume, sign up for Toastmasters, Amoxicillin from mexico, etc. Amoxicillin long term, 5.  Comfort Items.  What are you tolerating in your environment that's affecting your comfort?  Example: Not having enough heat in the office (solution: new heater, or clothes to dress more warmly), no A/C (Solution: buy one, after Amoxicillin, get a fan, Amoxicillin schedule, wear shorts), loud working environment (Solution: noise-canceling headphones)

6.  Relationship Tolerations.   Does someone needlessly swearing, gossiping or over-doing sarcasm to the point of annoyance, Amoxicillin samples.   Does someone leave socks on ground, toilet seat up or wet towels on the bed?  Is your spouse constantly criticizing, whiney or withholds affection?  How do address relationship tolerations, Buy Amoxicillin Without Prescription. Make a request. Purchase Amoxicillin online, Set a boundary. Shift your mindset. Get support, taking Amoxicillin.

7.  Bad Habits.  Buy Amoxicillin Without Prescription, Yes, sometimes we tolerate our own bad habits, which interferes with productivity and deeper fulfillment.  Examples: Watching too much TV, smoking, caffeine addiction, excessive alcohol, being late to appointments, oversleeping, staying up late, indulging in negative thoughts, etc.

8.  Health Issues. Not attending to your health is another type of toleration. Where can i buy Amoxicillin online, Examples: Healing an injury, losing weight, not exercising, Amoxicillin no rx, not having the right foods on hand, Doses Amoxicillin work, skipping meals, postponing a mammogram or other important medical exams, etc, Amoxicillin reviews.

9.  BIGGER Tolerations.  This last category is for those nagging issues that don't quite fit into the others, Amoxicillin dose, and generally aren't simple fixes.  Examples: A challenging boss, client or co-worker; a chronic injury or illness, losing that last 10-20 pounds, where can i order Amoxicillin without prescription, cramped office space, Amoxicillin price, not enough closet space, etc.   For BIGGER Tolerations you'll need to get more creative, enlist support or think outside the box.  Still recognizing any "toleration" allows your subconscious to start attracting a solution, Amoxicillin maximum dosage.

Before you pull out your sheet of paper, Amoxicillin use, and start writing, here's another secret.  It's not about handling ALL of your tolerations at once. That would be overwhelming!  Instead, simply focus on 1-5 tolerations to handle each week.  Just handling one per week for a year is 52 energy-draining tolerations done, Amoxicillin interactions.

Coaching Assignment:

1.  Brainstorm 20-25 Tolerations present in your life.  What are the pesky little "undone" things draining your energy. Purchase Amoxicillin online no prescription, Use the categories above to help you identify your pesky energy drains.  To make this super easy for you, download your Tolerations Worksheet here: http://www.lifecoachmary.com/tolerations.pdf

2.  Select 2-5 Tolerations that you'll tackle THIS week.  Look over your list.  See which one or two "tolerations" would free up the most energy.  Start there.

Remember, it's not about handling all the Tolerations TODAY.  Focus on the top 1-5 each week.  Progress happens over time.  Your "Tolerations List" should free you up, not bog you down.  NOTE:  Often "tolerations" start getting handled almost automatically once they are identified.

Clients who consistently commit to handling a few tolerations weekly, quickly discover how simple it is to free up energy.  Commit to eliminating "tolerations" each week.  Soon it will become a life habit you'll be thanking me for.  Mark my words.

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So we're all on the same page, let's get clear about what drama is. Clomid natural,  The best dictionary definition for the kind of drama I'm speaking of is: "a situation or sequence of events that is highly emotional, tragic, or turbulent."

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One of our most recent dramas involved a domestic violence case with our neighbors, Buy Clomid from mexico, who live above us.  John and I testified in court a couple weeks ago, to help "her" get a restraining order.  It was NOT granted.  Most of the legit evidence was thrown out for technical reasons. Truly crazy, Clomid For Sale. Her testimony explained what we'd heard during the last 4 months, including loud thuds, Clomid class, crying and yelling. After the hearing, Buy cheap Clomid no rx, she moved out.  But, then HE moved back in!  Yikes. The lawyer said THAT wouldn't happen.  Now, is our safety in jeopardy, low dose Clomid. This is just ONE of the dramas present in our lives. Clomid For Sale, Countless forms of drama-provoking situations exist. And, My Clomid experience, as Law of Attraction goes, the more you step into the energy of "drama," the more "drama" you attract and the more intense the emotions. Whew!, where to buy Clomid.

It's not news that our culture loves drama, spending hours watching adrenaline soaring movies and TV, Clomid interactions, reading emotionally riveting novels, and engaging in conversations that intensify emotions of all kinds. Many people attract "real-life" drama in their everyday lives mirroring what's on TV!  Yikes again.

Why are we so attracted to drama?

1.  Distraction.  First off, drama is a fabulous distraction that takes us outside of ourselves, Clomid For Sale.   If I can focus on my friend's divorce, japan, craiglist, ebay, overseas, paypal, the neighbor's domestice violence case, or the latest episode of CSI: Miami or Bachelor Pad, Buy Clomid without prescription, the focus is OUTSIDE of me and effectively numbs any of my own turbulent emotions by externalizing them.  Sometimes it's just good entertainment.  But, more often, focusing on drama occupies our attention, so we don't have to go within and confront our own dysfunctional thoughts, purchase Clomid for sale, behaviors and attitudes.

2. Taking Clomid, Drama Forces Us To Feel.  There is something cathartic about feeling emotions, even if we're displacing the true source.  When my 15 1/2 year old Golden Retriever Rugby died, I was a wreck for a week, then stuffed my emotions so I could focus on my business and effectively serve clients.  A couple months later, where can i buy Clomid online, they were still bottled up. So I rented "Marley and Me, Order Clomid no prescription, " to allow myself to reconnect to those feelings of grief.  Sure enough... Clomid For Sale, it worked. By focusing on the drama of the movie, I re-connected to my own feelings. Sobbing helped me heal, Clomid without prescription.

3.  Divine Guidance. Because emotions capture our attention during intense situations, drama CAN become the most fertile ground for learning life's biggest lessons.  Can you point to one of your most "drama-filled" periods and see how it was pivotal to your growth?  While we're not necessarily consciously choosing drama, Clomid price, sometimes I believe our soul's attract it, so we can learn key lessons.  Think of it as a necessary "spiritual nudge."

The Cost of Drama

Like stress, most people accept drama as a part of everyday life, and barely notice what the devastating costs are.  How does drama impact your life? 

Is it impairing your ability to focus or be productive?  Is it interfering with your ability to connect with a loved one?  Is it affecting your food choices or alcohol intake, where can i order Clomid without prescription.

One thing for sure, adrenaline rises with drama.  This directly affects cortisol in your system, Where can i cheapest Clomid online, which is the hormone that correllates with stress.

Personally, I HATE that feeling over long periods of time.  (Though it's fun to experience while watching movies!)

How to Dance with Drama.

If you're noticing the drama quotient is extra high in your life, here are a few things you can do to reduce it's impact and maximize its benefits, Clomid For Sale.

1. What's REALLY going on?  You may need to reflect on this inquiry a bit to determine the truest answer to this question.  Look for the most objective perspective, which is often the most simple.  Are you wanting to avoid your own feelings?  Do you find it difficult to "be with" another's discord?  Are you feeling helpless in resolving a situation, Clomid pics.

2. What thoughts are you attaching to?  This question helps clarify what's really going on because typically our thoughts dictate our feelings, Clomid from mexico, and point to "what's really going on."

Example: Resistance to friend's divorce.
Belief: Clomid For Sale, Love doesn't last.  Maybe MY relationship won't last. They were a perfect couple. I'm suppose to prevent this.

Example: Neighbor not granted restraining order, Clomid images. Belief: He's going to harm me or a loved one because I testified against him in court. The justice system is not fair, Clomid For Sale. We have to move ASAP.  I'm not safe. Online Clomid without a prescription, Example: Polarized Reactions to Manifesto for Conscious Women.  Belief: People won't like or trust me any more.  I'm a horrible communicater.  People are in pain (and I can't do anything about it.) Nothing I say makes a difference.

Example: Discord in Relationship.
Belief:  Our relationship will never be the same again.  I should be able to help.  They don't understand their impact.  The relationship should be closer. They don't understand me.

Clomid For Sale, When we attach to certain thoughts, we create suffering for ourselves.  And, many of these drama-expanding thoughts aren't necessarily grounded in reality.  I know how much I want to help in sticky situations.  And, it's not always my place to do so.  Believing it's "my job" can be very debilitating.

I'm NOT saying we should minimize certain thoughts like "I'm not safe."  I can't know for sure what my neighbor will do or not.  But, Clomid canada, mexico, india, knowing this is the thought I'm believing, I can take smart actions without dwelling on the thought 24/7. Is Clomid addictive, 3.  Consciously choose thoughts to create more alignment with reality.  Refocusing our thoughts goes a long way in reducing the resistance inherant in drama.

Here are a few ideas to get you thinking about alternative possibilities.

* Maybe things are perfect the way they are (and I just can't see it yet).
* Maybe this is the catalyst for something higher to evolve.
* Maybe emotional turbulence is serving me or others right now.
* Maybe it's not my job to fix the situation.
* This situation doesn't have anything to do with me.
* My only job is to hold the highest outcome for all.
* Everyone is whole, resourceful and creative.
* I am safe right now.

4.  Practice Calming the Mind, Clomid For Sale. Give yourself a moment away from the chaos, get Clomid, and relax into your beingness.  Meditate.  Breathe.  Do yoga.  Go for a walk. Lie in the grass. Clomid treatment, Allow yourself to find peace, even though there are emotional turbulent situations in your world.  Focus on your well-being in the moment, independent of thoughts, feelings and external circumstances.  A calm mind helps put things in perspective.  Without our attention on "the situation" (like when we sleep)...we can relax into the truth of "all is well."  At least for THIS moment, comprar en línea Clomid, comprar Clomid baratos.

5.  Set Boundaries.  And, take care of YOU!  Just because you have 5 friends in emotionally challenging situations, Clomid price, coupon, doesn't mean you need to be at their beck and call 24/7.  One of the best drama-busters is boundaries. Clomid For Sale, As you hold your friends as capable, you empower them to sort through their situation without it wreaking havoc on your own nervous system.

Not saying you shouldn't be there for friends. But, I am saying it's essential for you to take care of you first.  Remember what they say on airplanes?  Put the oxygen mask on yourself first.  If you're trying to support your friend from a depleted place, buy Clomid without a prescription, you'll be of less help and you may end up resenting your friend later.

And again, Clomid for sale, even if you have LOTS of energy to jump into the drama-pool with others, doesn't mean it's your job.  Maybe the drama is in your life to help YOU get better at setting boundaries.

6.  What's the lesson for you?  Drama is a fabulous distraction.  It's easy to blame external situations for the emotional turmoil, AND there is almost always a lesson in it for you, buying Clomid online over the counter.

Go within, Clomid For Sale.

Is your friend's divorce a wake-up call for your relationship?  Do you need to master setting boundaries and "just say no" to drama?  Is there a feeling or emotion you're avoiding because you're going through a big transition?  Is there an opportunity to "be with" turmoil in a new way without manipulating circumstances.

And here's one of the juiciest places to explore.  Is there a shadow quality you haven't owned yet. Clomid reviews, Example: My friend seems overly controlling.  Can I find all the overt and covert ways I'm controlling?

Example: I'm not getting what I want from a relationship.  How am I unconsciously resisting what they ARE giving me?  How am I NOT giving what they need in relationship?

Note: For more information about "shadow work" I recommend Debbie Ford's book "The Dark Side of the Light Chasers" and my book "The Power of Inner Choice" (Lesson #11).

7.  Watch Your Language.  Language intensifies emotions.  And remember, like attracts like.  It can be cathartic to talk about volatile situations in our lives, AND it can also put fuel on the flames!. Clomid For Sale, When I talk about testifying in court, and all the stomach-churling details about our neighbor's domestic violence case, I notice my heart starts beating faster, and the flood of fear and frustration pours in.  (I also notice it's exciting to talk about, since domestic violence cases aren't typically happening in the apartment above us!)

But, as I allow more and more time to pass between conversations, my inner peace quotient equalizes and I feel better.

8. Intention.  The best drama-deflater for me has always been intention.  After you've seriously taken inventory of what's going on and combed the field for priceless lessons, it may be time to set a clear intention of a drama-free life.  If you're like me, who thrives on inner peace and stillness, this can happen quickly.

However, if you've been addicted to drama for awhile, this may take time and support. MOST people with high drama-quotients have it for a reason.  They aren't wanting to face something within themselves or in a relationship.  If you suspect this may be you, reach out to an experienced coach or therapist for expert support. It's often easier to "go within" and "confront challenging situations" when you have someone to hold your hand.

Final Note:  I don't believe eliminating drama 100% is the goal.  Life has its ups and downs.  And, let's face it, drama in movies, TV and books can be quite entertaining.  That being said, my wish for you is to see and embrace the drama in your life in a new light that can serve you, not control you.  Here's to less drama and more inner peace.

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7.  SCRAMBLE the Thought Buy Flonase Without Prescription, –Tony Robbins and NLP practitioners know of this powerful tool, and it's simple for anyone to use by themselves.  You simply must be WILLING to try it.  If you've been embracing a negative mantra over and over in your mind, simply recognizing its impact may not be enough.  Let's take a mantra like, "I have so much to do".  To scramble this sentence, or any other, do the following.

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• Say the sentence 5 times really slow in a COWBOY'S voice.


• Say the sentence 5 times is your most SENSUAL and SEDUCTIVE voice.


• Say the sentence 5 times BACKWARDS (i.e. "Do to much so have I").

You must play FULL OUT.  If you're playing full-out, Flonase over the counter, Flonase street price, you'll find yourself laughing out loud.  Just continue until you've made it all the way through the 4 steps above.  When you're done, notice how you feel about the original sentence.  Most people experience the sentence as neutral or humorous after completing this exercise.  The addictive thought has been transformed.  Try it!, buy cheap Flonase. Effects of Flonase, Replace It. As you loosen the grips on the thoughts that don't serve you, Flonase cost, Flonase blogs, it's important to replace them with something more empowering - so the thoughts don't have a home to return to.  Consciously choosing the antithesis of the original thought is a simple solution.  Another way to find a replacement is to turn the statement around. Identifying a thought that is "as true" or "truer" than the original statement.  Or it may simply align more with what you want to create or attract into your life.  In the example above, australia, uk, us, usa, Online Flonase without a prescription, "I have too much to do", could be transformed into, Flonase no prescription, Where can i buy Flonase online, "I'm on track", or "It's all going to get done".  As long as the replacement is more powerful than the unresourceful, about Flonase, Online buying Flonase hcl, you're on track. Low dose Flonase. Flonase from mexico. Flonase wiki. Buy Flonase without a prescription. Buy Flonase no prescription. Canada, mexico, india. Generic Flonase. Canada, mexico, india. Flonase long term. Flonase maximum dosage. Cheap Flonase no rx. Where can i cheapest Flonase online. Purchase Flonase online no prescription. Flonase recreational. Flonase canada, mexico, india. Buy cheap Flonase no rx. No prescription Flonase online. Generic Flonase. Discount Flonase. Cheap Flonase. What is Flonase. Flonase dosage. Flonase trusted pharmacy reviews. Flonase no rx. Herbal Flonase. Taking Flonase.

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