Can we ever really control what others think of us? Oh, how I wish there was a way to have everyone love me – and YOU! Ahhhhh…welcome back to reality.
“Pleasing” everyone simply isn’t possible. Each human being has their own blueprint of likes, dislikes, standards and pet peeves. Recognizing this reality is the first step.
You may be able to influence whether someone likes you or not – by treating them kindly, offering value or making them laugh. But, in the end, their preferences are NOT within your control.
Now, let’s understand what worry is.
Worry is resisting a future that hasn’t happened yet. More often than not, “the future we’re resisting” or worrying about – never even happens in reality. And, certainly, on the rare occasion it does happen, it is not in our direct control.
If I worry about what my subscribers think of me, how is this going to positively influence their thoughts? In fact, the more “worry” there is, the more likely I’m going to attract an unfavorable outcome because I’m putting so much attention on something negative.
The reality is, people will think what they do about me. And people will think what they do about you. It’ll either be positive, and they’ll keep coming back. Or they won’t. Isn’t it wonderful that everyone has the freedom to choose?
When you recognize worry as a waste of time, energy and focus – you can gently bring your attention back into the now. You can bring your energy and attention to your fullest self-expression. Be yourself. I’ve certainly noticed, the more someone is comfortable in their own skin – the more we like them. Even if they are a bit quirky or outrageous!
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Excerpts from a Dog’s Diary
Day Number 180
8:00am – OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
9:30am – OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
9:40am – OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
10:30am – OH BOY! CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
11:30am – OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
12:00 noon – OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
1:00pm – OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
4:00pm – OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
5:00pm – OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
5:30pm – OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!
Day Number 181
8:00am – OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
9:30am – OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
9:40am – OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
10:30am – OH BOY! CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
11:30am – OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
12:00 noon – OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
1:00pm – OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
4:00pm – OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
5:00pm – OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
5:30pm – OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!
Day Number 182
8:00am – OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
9:30am – OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
9:40am – OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
10:30am – OH BOY! CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
11:30am – OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
12:00 noon – OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
1:00pm – OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
1:30pm – oooooooooo, bath. bummer.
4:00pm – OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
5:00pm – OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
5:30pm – OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!
Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary
Day Number 752
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me from going insane is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.
Day Number 761
Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair…must try this on their bed.
Inner peace is available anytime and any place. It’s only our conditioned behavior and society at large that tells us otherwise.
Before we can access inner peace anywhere … it’s important that we’re clear about how to access inner peace in the here and now – before movement is involved.
Stop for a minute, and simply connect with your breath. Breathe in … breathe out… breathe in … breathe out. Shift your attention from thoughts, feelings and physical sensations to that which is AWARE of thoughts, feelings, and physical sensations.
Recognize …that you’re aware of thought, but you are not your thoughts. Recognize … that you’re aware of emotions, but you are not your emotions.
Simply rest in that which you are – that which is aware.
Recognize the truth in this moment – “all is well.”
It doesn’t matter how long your to-do list is, how much money is in the bank account, or who is or isn’t in your life in this moment. When we shift our attention to that which is aware, any moment can be experienced with inner peace.
When we can access this inner peace in the here and the now…we can access it anytime and any place simply by bringing our attention back to a place of awareness.
If I’m dashing to catch an airline flight … I can notice how quickly I’m moving and I can notice fear or thoughts arising as I momentarily believe, “I could miss my flight.” Then, I simply shift my attention to the here and now. I’m well. I’m not late – yet. I find my breath. I recognize, “All is well.”
Try it. Anytime. Any place. Including this moment. All is well.
It only takes a moment to shift your attention to this truth.
Filed under Fulfilling Lives, Inner Peace 101, Inner Peace Practices, Inner Peace Strategies | Comment (0)With the economy as it is, it seems everyone is working harder than ever. We can either allow time pressures to consume us, sending our blood pressure off the charts. Or, we CAN learn how to access “spaciousness” and relax into inner peace regularly — no matter how full our schedules are.
The last 4 months have been my busiest ever! And yet, as I write this article, I can honestly say, “The core of my being is more peaceful and grounded than ever.” How did I manage a 5-city tour, 6+ airplane flights, 35+ hours driving, numerous speaking engagements, a “household move,” family vacation and launching 3 new programs?
Here are 3 simple keys to expand spaciousness in your life.
But busy vacations, and a day here and there doesn’t provide the same nourishment as 4-5 full days of retreating. This means taking time where your predominant focus shifts from the outer world to your inner world. I’m not talking about hanging out in your busy mind or analyzing thought.
I’m talking about allowing yourself to be guided more deeply into your own consciousness. To gently shift your attention from the thinking mind, to that which is AWARE of thought. From reactive emotions, to that which is AWARE of feeling. From seeing, hearing and feeling body sensations, to what which is AWARE of seeing, hearing and feeling sensations. Many experience this point of awareness as “spaciousness.” And, it’s typically described as peaceful.
I can’t imagine how frazzled my inner being would be today, had I not gifted myself with the three “5-day retreats” I participated in this year. If you’re ready for more “spaciousness” in your life, commit to giving yourself serious “unplugging time.” It does a body, mind and soul good.
Filed under Inner Peace 101, Inner Peace Practices | Comment (0)Jerry Seinfeld got a big laugh when he joked about a survey that found that the fear of public speaking ranks higher in most people’s minds than the fear of death. “In other words,” he deadpanned, “at a funeral, the average person would rather be in the casket than giving the eulogy.”
So if fear of public speaking surpasses the fear of illness, fear of flying, fear of terrorism, and even fear of death itself – how can we find inner peace before making an important presentation? Yikes!
Here are three simple tips to set you up for serenity in front of the room.
First … remember the Boy Scout’s motto, “Be prepared.” Clarity is power. Know these answers, “Who are you speaking to? What is your outcome? What do you want your audience to walk away with?”
Second … practice, practice, practice. It’s especially useful to know your “opening” and “closing.” And, give special attention to “transitioning” between key points. Rehearsing helps. But, don’t get too caught up in scripting every word – ultimately, speaking from the heart earns you more kudos and connection.
And finally … the single biggest key to finding inner peace during a presentation – CONNECT with your audience. This means, shift your attention from your sweaty palms, rapid heart rate and anxiety-filled body – and FOCUS on connecting heart to heart with your audience, one person at a time.
By focusing outside yourself … you’ll quickly discover presentations and public speaking aren’t much different than one-on-one conversations.
Filed under Fulfilling Lives, Inner Peace 101, Inner Peace Moments, Inner Peace Practices | Comment (0)People and customers will be unreasonable some of the time. It’s unreasonable to think people and customers shouldn’t be unreasonable – at least some of the time. Have you ever had an unreasonable moment? I sure have. Typically, my unreasonable moments happen when I get attached to an idea or thought, that isn’t happening in reality – and I’m mentally and emotionally fighting the reality. As I’ve learned to have more compassion for my own “unreasonable” moments, I find it easier to have compassion for others when they lapse into this semi-unconscious state.
So, when facing a real-life unreasonable customer, here’s what I suggest:
First, recognize what is really happening. Your customer is attached to an idea or thought that is NOT happening in reality. Perhaps, they didn’t meet some qualification or deadline, and are upset. Perhaps, they had an expectation of you or your business or program, yet it wasn’t part of the offering. Perhaps, their “unreasonableness” is about something else going on in their life, which has nothing to do with you. In any case, they are attached to an idea or thought, not happening in reality. By seeing things objectively, and not thinking it should be another way – it’s easier to stay in your peace.
Second, really, really, really acknowledge that this is just one “moment in time.” It’s not permanent. Unreasonable customers can transform into reasonable ones in minutes.
Third, stay focused on the “issue” being resolved peacefully. Just your calm, soothing presence can be enough to re-ground your customer. As you maintain your sanity, it helps them regain theirs.
Remember, every situation is going to be resolved one of two ways. Either your customer begins to accept the reality of the situation (even if they aren’t jumping for joy). Or they remain upset forever. I know, that one isn’t my favorite. However, if inner peace is a priority, it means accepting that some customers could remain unreasonable for life. Funny thing is … when you can authentically accept someone’s unreasonableness, you won’t need them to change.
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What does it mean to have inner peace? That’s the first question to explore. The dictionary defines peace as “a state of tranquility or serenity.” One of my favorite quotes sums it up nicely.
“Peace. It does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble or hard work… It means to be in the midst of those things and still be calm in your heart.” - Unknown
So can we ever find inner tranquility or serenity? Absolutely! It can be found in any moment we’re present with reality or “what is” without resistance. It’s that simple.
Take this moment. Breathe in and breathe out, allowing yourself to rest in this present moment, engaging all of your senses. Notice if there is anything in this moment that you’re resisting (a thought, a feeling, a physical sensation, a situation or someone in your life). If there is something, let it go for now, and come back to your breath. Recognize, in this moment, “All is well.”
Finding inner peace is that easy.
And…finding inner peace doesn’t happen once and for all. But, you can choose to return to this delicious place of being any time you choose.
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Who would you prefer to work with? Someone who is stressed out, frazzled and overwhelmed with their
business and life? Or someone who is calm, centered and exudes a sense of inner peace?
One of my clients is a tax accountant, who has consciously focused on expanding his inner peace over the last several years – especially during tax season. Clients comment on how good it feels to come in to talk taxes even when they receive unpleasant news of a large tax bill.
When your inner peace is high, others feel more heard, understood and acknowledged because you’re more available to them. Whether you meet with clients for a few minutes or a few hours at a time, whatever emotional state that is most prevalent in you will affect your clients.
In today’s busy world, where stress has become a standard, people are craving inner peace. If you help them fill up their “inner peace” reservoir, they’ll help you fill up your financial reservoir. It’s just what happens.
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The quickest way to find inner peace when your mind is flooding with ideas is to write them down. Pull out a sheet of paper and start writing, or if you prefer high-tech, open your computer and get all those ideas out of your head and into form. Anytime we put our thoughts onto paper, the mind slows down, we’re able to evaluate ideas objectively and there is an immediate release.
As we write, we may notice… what felt like thousands or millions of ideas is really only a dozen or two. It just felt like millions because so many of the ideas were repeating again and again because your mind didn’t want you to forget them! (This recently happened to me at 5am 
)
Once on paper, we can prioritize and organize them. Which ones are you most passionate about? Which ones will serve you and your business most? Which ones make most sense to act upon?
Break down ideas into simple tasks. Then, choose to do them – one at a time.
Filed under Inner Peace 101, Inner Peace Culprits, Inner Peace Practices | Comment (0)Let me ask you ONE question.
What does every successful and peace-filled human being have in common?
Take your BEST guess…
A) A Private Jet, Ferrari and a Beach House
B) LOTS of time spent in a Zen monastery
C) What? Success AND Inner Peace don’t really co-exist, do they?
D) A “Sensational Support Structure”
If you guessed D…you’re the lucky winner today!!!!!
The sad truth is… whether you’re already living the lifestyle of the rich and famous – or NOT – you’re probably sorely missing out on that “Sensational Support Structure.”
The vast majority of us are still trying to “do it all” ourselves.
We run on auto-pilot. Often putting off our more cherished goals and dreams. Often sacrificing our self-care and inner peace for busyness.
Even folks I know with private jets and beach houses are in desperate need of the kind of “sensational support structure” I’m about to reveal.
So without further ado…
Let me introduce you to (drum roll, please….)
>>>> MOMENTUM.
For the next 2 weeks you have the opportunity to “test-drive” this “sensational support structure” AND RECEIVE two free tickets to my Awakening Beyond Achievement Tour.
That’s a $194 bonus.
But, ONLY if you can act quickly.
Filed under Fulfilling Lives, Inner Peace 101, Inner Peace Practices, Inner Peace Strategies, SPECIAL OFFERS | Comment (1)
Everyday Inner Peace is about maximizing YOUR inner peace. Whatever is interfering with your inner peace is temporary, unnecessary suffering. Here you’ll find tips, strategies and inspiration to return to relaxed bliss … in minutes. Everything is better in life with an abundance of "inner peace."