Can we ever really control what others think of us? Oh, how I wish there was a way to have everyone love me – and YOU! Ahhhhh…welcome back to reality.
“Pleasing” everyone simply isn’t possible. Each human being has their own blueprint of likes, dislikes, standards and pet peeves. Recognizing this reality is the first step.
You may be able to influence whether someone likes you or not – by treating them kindly, offering value or making them laugh. But, in the end, their preferences are NOT within your control.
Now, let’s understand what worry is.
Worry is resisting a future that hasn’t happened yet. More often than not, “the future we’re resisting” or worrying about – never even happens in reality. And, certainly, on the rare occasion it does happen, it is not in our direct control.
If I worry about what my subscribers think of me, how is this going to positively influence their thoughts? In fact, the more “worry” there is, the more likely I’m going to attract an unfavorable outcome because I’m putting so much attention on something negative.
The reality is, people will think what they do about me. And people will think what they do about you. It’ll either be positive, and they’ll keep coming back. Or they won’t. Isn’t it wonderful that everyone has the freedom to choose?
When you recognize worry as a waste of time, energy and focus – you can gently bring your attention back into the now. You can bring your energy and attention to your fullest self-expression. Be yourself. I’ve certainly noticed, the more someone is comfortable in their own skin – the more we like them. Even if they are a bit quirky or outrageous!
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“What’s Possible When You Own Your Power” by Gaile Burchill
Note From Mary: One of the women I admire deeply is Gaile Burchill. She’s not only been a client and student of mine, she was instrumental in the success of the Awakening Beyond Achievement Tour. She happens to be participating in my latest Ultimate Impact Program: Peace, Power and Prosperity for Transformational Leaders.
Since enrollments started rolling in weeks ago, we started pre-calls to support those coaches ready to begin. When Gaile shared with me her “shift” – and all of the tangible results she recently experienced, it was so inspiring – it deserved to be a feature article.
As you hear Gaile’s story, perhaps you may find yourself connecting more deeply to what’s possible for you when you OWN your power in a new way. So often we minimize our gifts, allowing procrastination and distraction to thwart our good intentions. You’ll see how quickly this can change … when you make ONE decision.
Gaile’s Story: I’ve had the privilege of participating in the pre-calls for the upcoming Ultimate Impact Program: Peace, Power and Prosperity for Transformational Leaders. To be honest, as soon as I knew Mary was developing a new program, I was in. I’m a graduate of one of her original year long courses many years ago, and participating in that program made a huge difference for me at the time. Having the distinctions of inner peace and success I started to practice back then, continue to make a difference for me to this day.
But I digress. What I wanted to share with you is the difference this course has already made in my life … AND THE COURSE HASN’T EVEN OFFICIALLY BEGUN!
First, out of just committing to participate, I find that I am able to finally OWN that I am a transformational leader and I have something to offer others. It looks different than I thought it would, but I’m clear that what I’m up to is providing something others are looking for.
Filed under Emotional Muscles, Fulfilling Lives, Inner Peace 101, Inner Peace Strategies, SPECIAL OFFERS | Comment (0)While it’s physically impossible to bring the peace-filled weather to you (unless you already live here), I CAN bring you a perfect balance of inner peace and power! And, that’s exactly what I’m planning to do.
We wouldn’t think about vacuuming the carpet without the power cord connected firmly into the electrical socket. Would we?
Yet, so many are living life without being grounded in inner peace and power (aka: attempting to vacuum the floor without plugging the plug into the power source). Seems silly to operate ANYTHING without a power source, right? Especially our lives! Being disconnected or partially connected, makes everything 1000′s of times more difficult, allows snippety words to accidentally slip out -hurting our partners (or children’s) feelings, and has us feeling horrible about ourselves for not being able to take action on our biggest dreams. Among other things…
That’s why I’m on a mission in September. I’m hosting 5 live calls. Each one is focused on YOUR INNER PEACE and POWER, so you can experience the ease of life when you’re fully “plugged into your power source.” Imagine riding a wave on a surf board, navigating rapids on a raging river or bouncing between moguls on a ski mountain WHILE clearly in your power. It’s exhilarating and fun! (vs. scary & awkward!) Like these dolphins!
Pick and choose the topics most relevant to you. They are all free! I highly recommend you attend each of them if you can (and yes, I’ll be recording them and sending you links afterwards). I’ve even lined up a couple guests, including my mentor Arjuna Ardagh! If you’ve already visited: http://www.InnerPeaceImmersionRetreat.com and entered your name and mailing address — you’re set for 4 of the 5 calls. Just mark your calendar.
Inner Peace Calls
Sept. 9th at 1pm PT
Sept. 15th at 5pm PT
Sept. 22nd at 5pm PT
Oct. 7th at 1pm PT
CLICK HERE To Register
I could go on and on about other elements contributing to my happiness (but this series is getting a bit long!). When you’re profoundly happy, it seems that EVERYTHING is adding to it. Some of the other biggies include laughter, living squarely in the present moment, aligning with reality (however it unfolds), being silly, snuggling on the couch, watching sunsets, daily walks, reading inspiring books, staying at choice and being surrounded by people you love.
One of the biggest bonuses of being profoundly happy is seeing the look on my husband’s face as he witnesses my happiness. I’m not faking it. Nor am I “trying” to be happy to please him. It’s the natural result of intention + responding to spirit + grounding in stillness + focusing on strengths + gratitude + weekly check-ins. It’s the natural result of dropping all resistance to life.
Maybe next month will be different. But, for now I wouldn’t trade any of these elements from my life. Maybe they’ll work for you too. Enjoy!
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Excerpts from a Dog’s Diary
Day Number 180
8:00am – OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
9:30am – OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
9:40am – OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
10:30am – OH BOY! CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
11:30am – OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
12:00 noon – OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
1:00pm – OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
4:00pm – OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
5:00pm – OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
5:30pm – OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!
Day Number 181
8:00am – OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
9:30am – OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
9:40am – OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
10:30am – OH BOY! CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
11:30am – OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
12:00 noon – OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
1:00pm – OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
4:00pm – OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
5:00pm – OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
5:30pm – OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!
Day Number 182
8:00am – OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
9:30am – OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
9:40am – OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
10:30am – OH BOY! CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
11:30am – OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
12:00 noon – OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
1:00pm – OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
1:30pm – oooooooooo, bath. bummer.
4:00pm – OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
5:00pm – OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
5:30pm – OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!
Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary
Day Number 752
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me from going insane is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.
Day Number 761
Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair…must try this on their bed.
Inner peace is available anytime and any place. It’s only our conditioned behavior and society at large that tells us otherwise.
Before we can access inner peace anywhere … it’s important that we’re clear about how to access inner peace in the here and now – before movement is involved.
Stop for a minute, and simply connect with your breath. Breathe in … breathe out… breathe in … breathe out. Shift your attention from thoughts, feelings and physical sensations to that which is AWARE of thoughts, feelings, and physical sensations.
Recognize …that you’re aware of thought, but you are not your thoughts. Recognize … that you’re aware of emotions, but you are not your emotions.
Simply rest in that which you are – that which is aware.
Recognize the truth in this moment – “all is well.”
It doesn’t matter how long your to-do list is, how much money is in the bank account, or who is or isn’t in your life in this moment. When we shift our attention to that which is aware, any moment can be experienced with inner peace.
When we can access this inner peace in the here and the now…we can access it anytime and any place simply by bringing our attention back to a place of awareness.
If I’m dashing to catch an airline flight … I can notice how quickly I’m moving and I can notice fear or thoughts arising as I momentarily believe, “I could miss my flight.” Then, I simply shift my attention to the here and now. I’m well. I’m not late – yet. I find my breath. I recognize, “All is well.”
Try it. Anytime. Any place. Including this moment. All is well.
It only takes a moment to shift your attention to this truth.
Filed under Fulfilling Lives, Inner Peace 101, Inner Peace Practices, Inner Peace Strategies | Comment (0)With the economy as it is, it seems everyone is working harder than ever. We can either allow time pressures to consume us, sending our blood pressure off the charts. Or, we CAN learn how to access “spaciousness” and relax into inner peace regularly — no matter how full our schedules are.
The last 4 months have been my busiest ever! And yet, as I write this article, I can honestly say, “The core of my being is more peaceful and grounded than ever.” How did I manage a 5-city tour, 6+ airplane flights, 35+ hours driving, numerous speaking engagements, a “household move,” family vacation and launching 3 new programs?
Here are 3 simple keys to expand spaciousness in your life.
But busy vacations, and a day here and there doesn’t provide the same nourishment as 4-5 full days of retreating. This means taking time where your predominant focus shifts from the outer world to your inner world. I’m not talking about hanging out in your busy mind or analyzing thought.
I’m talking about allowing yourself to be guided more deeply into your own consciousness. To gently shift your attention from the thinking mind, to that which is AWARE of thought. From reactive emotions, to that which is AWARE of feeling. From seeing, hearing and feeling body sensations, to what which is AWARE of seeing, hearing and feeling sensations. Many experience this point of awareness as “spaciousness.” And, it’s typically described as peaceful.
I can’t imagine how frazzled my inner being would be today, had I not gifted myself with the three “5-day retreats” I participated in this year. If you’re ready for more “spaciousness” in your life, commit to giving yourself serious “unplugging time.” It does a body, mind and soul good.
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I remember reacting to my husband early in our relationship. I was upset. “You want me to be happy ALL the time! You want me to be like Elizabeth.” (Elizabeth is the friend who introduced us, and she seems happy all of the time). In my mind, this wasn’t realistic. My reality was ups and downs. How could he expect me to be happy ALL the time?
Fortunately, I investigated this assumption more objectively. Hmmmm. “John wants me to be happy all the time.” That’s rather sweet. If I’m not all busy reacting to this thought “He wants me to be happy all the time,” maybe I would appreciate that he cares about my happiness. I turned the statement around, “I want me to be happy all the time.” At the core of my being, this IS true. I hadn’t really thought about this possibility. Somehow, this idea stuck in my subconscious mind. An intention was born.
Just creating the possibility of “being happy all the time” sets intention in motion.
Filed under Fulfilling Lives, Inner Peace 101, Inner Peace Strategies | Comment (1)Jerry Seinfeld got a big laugh when he joked about a survey that found that the fear of public speaking ranks higher in most people’s minds than the fear of death. “In other words,” he deadpanned, “at a funeral, the average person would rather be in the casket than giving the eulogy.”
So if fear of public speaking surpasses the fear of illness, fear of flying, fear of terrorism, and even fear of death itself – how can we find inner peace before making an important presentation? Yikes!
Here are three simple tips to set you up for serenity in front of the room.
First … remember the Boy Scout’s motto, “Be prepared.” Clarity is power. Know these answers, “Who are you speaking to? What is your outcome? What do you want your audience to walk away with?”
Second … practice, practice, practice. It’s especially useful to know your “opening” and “closing.” And, give special attention to “transitioning” between key points. Rehearsing helps. But, don’t get too caught up in scripting every word – ultimately, speaking from the heart earns you more kudos and connection.
And finally … the single biggest key to finding inner peace during a presentation – CONNECT with your audience. This means, shift your attention from your sweaty palms, rapid heart rate and anxiety-filled body – and FOCUS on connecting heart to heart with your audience, one person at a time.
By focusing outside yourself … you’ll quickly discover presentations and public speaking aren’t much different than one-on-one conversations.
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Want to Read Part 1 First? What is Conscious Living?
How conscious are you?
If you’re reading a newsletter named Soulfully Living, you’re probably more conscious than the average human being. There are likely aspects of your life where you are VERY conscious. Maybe it’s your health, and you’re keenly aware of what and how much you eat, and how frequently you work out. Maybe it’s your finances, and you work with a financial planner, consciously save, invest for retirement, and spend within your budget. Maybe it’s your relationship, and you’ve attended workshops, read books and consciously make a point to remind your partner of how much you appreciate them each day. Maybe you’re conscious about the environment and have made choices to recycle, drive a Hybrid and not litter. And, likely you are conscious of your authentic SELF -your likes, dislikes, desires, fears and wounds?
Since there are so many aspects of life to be conscious of, there are probably a few areas that you’ve simply not paid attention to, or activities where you habitually go on auto-pilot. That’s okay. I’m not suggesting we’re 100% conscious of everything, 100% of the time. However, where we want to attract more power, greater self-expression and deeper fulfillment – consciousness is a fabulous tool.
Where do you go unconscious?
I notice when I’m bored with a situation or when I think I already know the answer, I tend to go unconscious. Historically, I’ve gone in and out of consciousness around money and finances. Gulp. Interestingly, when I focus on money, this area thrives. When I neglect it, it’s less fruitful. Hmmm. When I’m caught up in my mind, fixated on less than empowering thoughts, I’m less conscious.
Until I met my husband John, admittedly, I was pretty unconscious about politics. It was too confusing to me, so I simply avoided it altogether. In the last few years, I decided to bring consciousness to the subject matter and, with John’s assistance, really learn about governmental issues so that I am capable of making more conscious choices at voting time.
Is there a particular area of your life where you go unconscious? Health issues, finances, relationships, organization, or spending time with friends. Where are you ready to expand your consciousness?
Consciousness – The Never Ending Journey. Waking up to life is a constantly evolving process. We don’t just decide to “live consciously” and we’re set. In fact, the more one investigates consciousness and lack there of, the more one may realize just how many areas aren’t fully conscious. Take it one moment at a time.
Expanding Consciousness. Where do we begin if we want to continually expand our consciousness? There are numerous ways. Here are five simple things you can do right away.
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Everyday Inner Peace is about maximizing YOUR inner peace. Whatever is interfering with your inner peace is temporary, unnecessary suffering. Here you’ll find tips, strategies and inspiration to return to relaxed bliss … in minutes. Everything is better in life with an abundance of "inner peace."
