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Living Life to the FULLEST
Honoring...Our Friend
Vytas Pazemenas
1938 - 2009
On November 15, 2009, we gathered for Vytas Pazemenas' Memorial at Balboa Yacht Club in Newport Beach. I found myself even more honored to know this unique man.
Born in Lithuania in 1938, as a child Vytas was smack in the middle of World War II, between the German Army and Red Army of Russia. His family once hid under a train, protecting themselves from gun-fire. His father was captured by the Russians...and later escaped. They finally fled Lithuania. Vytas was a refugee.
As a young man, Vytas came to the USA to attend college, graduating from Penn State with a degree in engineering. He chose the medical device industry, and steadily worked his way into management in Silicon Valley. He had a knack for recognizing and developing talent. In 1999, Vytas was invited to southern California to lead a company in distress. As CEO, he turned it around! When that company sold, Vytas decided it was time to start his own medical device company. Vytas was an avid sailor, and a fan of the book series about Jack Aubrey, a man of high character and integrity...hence the company name: The Aubrey Group. Vytas was a leader.
Vytas built a top notch engineering team through his somewhat unusual interviewing techniques. Nearly every man who spoke at the Memorial chuckled as they remembered how Vytas presented a "puzzle" for them to solve in that initial interview. It quickly revealed one's "on-the-spot" thinking skills. Apparently these "puzzles" were Vytas' secret for culling talent. Vytas was discerning.
Collectively, this talent has saved countless lives and silently impacted the world in a myriad of ways. The first time I visited Aubrey Group, tears came to my eyes as I learned about project after project.
Aubrey Group has won many awards. Some of the most significant projects include:
1) DNA Analyzer - Uses electronics to detect diseased DNA on a laboratory benchtop.
2) Orthomedical Heart Assist Pump - A wearable device for patients waiting for a heart transplant.
3) Dialysis Machine - a device allowing patients to give themselves blood dialysis at home. Great for patients with kidney problems.
4) Permanent Glaucoma Treatment with a single needle implant...taking less than 10 minutes.
5) Neoline System - an electronic aide for more precise knee replacements.
6) Blood Purifier - a way to eliminate blood pathogens at blood banks.
7) Tissue Genesis - an easy and safe way to extract stem cells from the body.
8) Proactive treatment for breast cancer (that's not yet on the market...funding for this stopped when the market crashed awhile back).
No small task to attract projects of this magnitude and then to lead the teams to continually deliver innovations for their clients. For those needing these treatments, Aubrey Groups contributions are the unacknowledged miracle adding more ease and life to the world. Vytas created significant value to the world.
But business wasn't Vytas only passion. He was also a poet. He enjoyed memorizing poems, and in challenging situations always had an appropriate poem to share. Vytas was a man of depth.
Vytas was also a sailor, rallying his employees (and anyone willing to learning "the ropes") to participate in the sailing races in the ocean. You could also catch him delighting in powder skiing in the winter months. Vytas was an adventurer.
For years, his daughter found her greatest bonding time aboard a sailboat. It was one of the only havens where she escaped his "lectures." Vytas was a committed father.
Vytas spoke at engineering schools, inspiring more young men and women to choose this path. He was passionate about how engineering could make a difference in the world. Vytas also gave generously, donating money and time to worthy causes in the community. Vytas was a passionate philanthropist who gave back.
Vytas adored his wife Cathy. The twinkle in his eyes was always a little brighter when the love of his life entered the room. Vytas was a loving husband.
Vytas and Cathy
Vytas enjoyed dining in style, selecting the finest wines to accompany each meal. And, he loved chocolate! Vytas was a connoisseur.
But food and wine was just a way to bring good friends together for stimulating conversations about philosophy, politics, religion and life. Anything to challenge the mind. No subject was off limits. And...controversy was always welcome. Vytas was comfortable in his own skin and free to be himself around others.
Physical fitness was a part of his everyday life, whether running in the neighborhood or pumping iron at the gym. For Aubrey Group, he brought in experts to give his employees access to exercise programs, yoga, meditation and massage breaks. Vytas was a health enthusiast.
Words can't quite capture the full spectrum and depth of this unique man.
Banner on Vytas' sailboat the day of the Memorial.
This was the toast made with Benedictine before
setting sail each time.
We're wishing him a safe journey home.
I'm going to miss the birthdays and celebrations with Vytas and his wife Cathy. I'm going to miss toasting with "Benedictine" as we set out for a day sail (a long-time tradition!) I'm going to miss the sparkle in his eye when he greeted me (as he did everyone.) I'm going to miss how I felt in his presence.
I already miss him.
But, I know I'm not the only one.
Vytas left an impression on everyone he met. At the Memorial, hundreds gathered...and very few with a dry eye (many, many, many of them men.) Fortunately, so many of the fond memories and stories brought laughter and joy in the room. November 15th, 2009 was truly a day of celebration.
Once in awhile we get lucky enough to meet someone who embodies so many admired qualities. Once in awhile we get lucky enough to know someone who so fully embraces every moment of life with gusto.
Vytas was one of those men. His legacy lives on.
I know I am more inspired than ever to experience my life even more fully. How about you? We never know when our chapter in life comes to a close. I thank Vytas -- from the bottom of my heart -- for showing me what a life well lived looks like.
_________________________
My dear friend Clark Foster wrote this after
learning about Vytas' death.
Finding in the Good
by Clark Foster
"You manage to find something good in every situation " Vytas would say that to me with a distinct cheer in his voice.
I, like many are so saddened by the passing of Vytas that finding good is a major challenge.
Still, I feel compelled to sort through the feelings out of a desire to honor my friend.
So where is the good? Look around a bit and it shows up .
Our sadness reflects how much Vytas meant to us. So it is good that we met a remarkable soul.
Our lives have been improved having met Vytas. Recall his whole person as an example of gracious leadership, so that would be good.
Our minds have been challenged, and delighted having spoken with Vytas. We have grown in both heart and mind, yes that is good.
Our careers have been flavored with gratifying projects and puzzles. Our work at the Aubrey Group makes a difference to the world, good.
Our appreciation of the wonders of the world has been broadened. Vytas displayed balance in work, love, life and fun, good too.
Truly we have much good from knowing Vytas.
We are indeed privileged and with cause, appreciative.
Then there are a few personal flashes of Vytas good that come to my mind .
His sparkle of deep happiness while presiding over my marriage to Janet.
The playful voice of Vytas during the Benedictine toast to Poseidon from the stern of Cyrano as wind fills the sails.
The substantial conversations while dining often seasoned with at least one of the three taboo topics.
The twinkle in his eye when ones work exceeds his expectations.
The wonder in his "Wu Hoo" holler while skiing untracked powder beyond the boundary ropes.
The sincere delight in his voice when Cathy is present.
There is a lot more flashes of good, but I get sad recalling them right now.
I choose to see our sadness as evidence of the good that is Vytas.
Thank You Vytas .............................Clark
“GRATITUDE unlocks the fullness of life.
It turns what we have into enough . . . and more.
It turns denial into acceptance, chaos into order,
Confusion to clarity.
It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home,
A stranger into a friend.
Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today,
And creates a vision for tomorrow.”
-M. Beattie
Filed under Emotional Muscles, Fulfilling Lives, Inner Peace Practices, Inner Peace Quotes | Comment (1)
This week, gratitude is the perfect emotion to adopt. Gratitude is a feeling of thankfulness and appreciation. Appreciation and gratitude are interchangeable. In gratitude there is acceptance, love and acknowledgment of “what is”. In gratitude, there is spaciousness and connectedness.
APPLICATION - Appreciate the moment. Appreciate your strengths and weaknesses. Appreciate who you are, a unique being with personality and soul. Appreciate the gifts and challenges in your life. Appreciate your work, income, clients, employer, employees and referrals. Appreciate your health, your body, your senses, your ability to walk and live. Appreciate the acts of kindness and contribution you offer others, and that others contribute to you. Appreciate others' unique qualities, their foibles, quirks and gifts. Appreciate your environment, your neighborhood, city, state, country and planet. Appreciate the government for providing a structure that strives for order, safety, education, services and justice. Appreciate the entertainers, the artists, the business owners and entrepreneurs, laymen, doctors, lawyers, dentists, massage therapists, dry cleaners, yoga teachers, manufacturers, farmers, teachers, executives, cab drivers, salesmen, managers, photographers, wedding planners, electricians and garbage collectors. Appreciate freedom, free-trade, the stock market, opportunity, creativity and choice. Appreciate joy, love, peace, kindness, humility, forgiveness, truth, honesty, integrity, knowledge, wisdom and grace. Appreciate your stressful thoughts for expanding your awareness and allowing you to discover the truth. Appreciate the thoughts that allow joy and bliss to electrify your being. Appreciate your vulnerability, your humanity and your willingness to grow and learn.
Happy Thanksgiving!
Filed under Emotional Muscles, Fulfilling Lives, Inner Peace 101, Inner Peace Practices, Inner Peace Strategies | Comment (0)
Yes, the holidays are around the corner! Your life is going reasonably well. You're focused, "on track" and feeling centered...yet all of a sudden your workload triples, an employee leaves, or a significant person in your life becomes emotionally distraught, or perhaps a death or illness surprises the family. And, children offer unpredictable challenges too.
And then it’s the holidays! One of my strengths as a coach, is guiding my clients in living and working from greater states of peace, centeredness and balance. This is the essential ingredient for magnetizing success and fulfillment, whether you are developing a relationship, own a business, manage a team, raise children, trade in the stock market, or are losing weight. Your outside world doesn't have to equal your inside world. Life is always presenting new challenges to strengthen our spirit, expand our consciousness, and foster growth. Learning how to master accessing the "calm" in any storm is a worthy goal, but it IS obtainable. What is your current "storm"? I challenge you to find your center in the eye of it all.
6 Keys to Mastering "Being Calm" in the Eye of the Storm.
1. Be grounded and connected to yourself. When external chaos arises in our environment, there is a natural human tendency to focus outward on "solving the problem". When too much of our energy gets tied up "over there", we can lose our center and our power. This is the most essential ingredient in "successfully dancing" with ANY challenge or difficult situation. Get reconnected to your power immediately. When we aren't grounded, we lose access to our intuition, best thinking and resources to handle the situation.
Being grounded means being connected to your body, and your power. Breathe. Stand up. Feel your legs under you, connected solidly to the ground. Imagine a steel rod extending down through the back of your spine into the core of the earth, while simultaneously extending up through the crown of your head into the sky. Breathe. You may also recall a time in your life when you were exceptionally grounded. Performing well in sports or business. The more you become conscious of accessing your power and sense of grounded-ness, the more you will naturally live from this space.
2. Surrender to "what is". The "storm" is happening. Okay, so it is. Quit wishing that "reality" were different than it is. It's raining, snowing or hailing. You CAN'T control it. You can't control the stressed emotions or behaviors of another human being. You can't control events. You can't control the decisions of customers. You can't control blocks that come up along the way. You can't control time. There are certain steps to establishing or igniting a business. However, as we see things for what they are, you realize you CAN control your internal emotional experience. As you are grounded to yourself, you can ALWAYS handle "what is".3. Live from the present moment. You can witness a "storm" as a beautiful act of nature, or focus on the damage that may ensue (FUTURE) or the damage already done (PAST). Focusing on the past or the future takes you out of the present moment, and immediately places you in fear, worry or stress. Dwelling on a worst case scenario that may never come is wasted energy. BE HERE NOW. When we're truly PRESENT to the moment, it becomes clear what the next step is. In the present moment you have the greatest access to wisdom and guidance. While anticipating the future is useful, we don't want to live there...especially during a storm. CALM comes from having ALL of your energy with you in present time. Just as you lose your power and center when your energy is wrapped up in someone else's problem outside yourself, you lose energy when you dwell too much in the future or past. Be here now.
4. Consciously choose the higher path. Managing your energy is the theme of this article, as it is the essential ingredient to remain calm and centered...whether a "storm" is present or not. David Hawkins book, Power vs. Force offers a scale to depict higher energy vs. lower energy emotions (see Soulfully Living Issue #9). When we are caught up in lower level emotions such as fear, anxiety, guilt, anger, grief or hopelessness, our energy is heavy and dense. From this perspective, it's easy to see only the "worst case scenarios", as you witness the "storm". Access to wisdom is limited.
However, you can consciously choose to raise your energy. You may start by accessing "courage" and a "willingness" to change. You may focus on what you "appreciate" about the situation and your life. You may start "trusting" the process. Perhaps you accept "what is"...the circumstances, your own anxiety or the emotional upset of another. Laughing, drinking water, movement, and being present are all quick ways to raise your energy. Looking for the gifts in the "storm" is also an effective strategy. Just because you got caught momentarily in a negative emotion, doesn't mean you have to live there. Make a commitment to keep your energy level HIGH. Make conscious choices. From a high energy state...decisions are easy, patience is infinite, love flows, and magic happens.
5. Recognize and anticipate the GIFTS and "perfection" of your current "storm. Often times the greatest crises are the catalyst for remarkable growth. There are gifts for us to embrace at every step along the way. Is your business slower than you'd like? Perhaps the gift is extra time with the children or an opportunity to refine your vision. Is your spouse going through a difficult period? Perhaps this is the juncture for a life-altering change that will ultimately create more joy for you both. Does it feel that you won't ever complete your enormous task list and your new business will never flourish? Perhaps this is an opportunity to create new systems, and create a new mindset in taking your business to the next level. Perhaps this "storm" is an opportunity for you to really "get" that you CAN remain calm and centered in the eye of any "storm".
There is always a gift. Often there are MANY. 6. The Dance Between Responsibility and Trust. TRUST that what is to come ALWAYS serves the Greater Good.AND, as life is unfolding...take responsible action. We do the best we can in comforting a spouse, solving a problem, managing our day and defining a strategy. Part of taking responsibility is also investigating your own reactions, fears or eliminating a limiting belief. Yet, there comes a point when we need to trust the process. All is unfolding as it should. Again, leaning too much on the side of responsibility, we're trying to "control the storm", and that doesn't work. If it's raining out, you may pull out an umbrella, collect the water for another purpose, or just enjoy the experience of it - recognize that all "storms" do come to an end.
The question is, are you going to be exhausted and depleted when the "storm" is over...or will you have a smile on your face, knowing you've somehow optimized the storm? The choice is always yours.
Enjoy the season and remember these 6 Keys.
Filed under Emotional Muscles, Fulfilling Lives, Inner Peace 101, Inner Peace Practices, Inner Peace Strategies | Comment (1)
How can you respond "at the highest energetic level" when someone is frustrating you? Hurting you? Being difficult or pissing you off?
The answer is....with "compassion."
That is, of course, if you value your inner peace.
Compassion means "understanding" and "accepting" where another person is emotionally, mentally, physically or spiritually. With greater understanding and acceptance comes greater tolerance.
It does NOT mean you love, approve or want to encourage their behavior.
EMPOWERING BELIEF: "People do the best they can with the resources they have."
That simple belief helps me breed "compassion" with the most challenging individuals.
Generally speaking, people aren't walking around all day trying to torment you. They're too busy focusing on their own challenges, living their lives and trying to perform at the best of their abilities.
People's fears, limiting beliefs in themselves and others, lack of skill, personal weaknesses, stress and current life circumstances all factor in to how they interact with you and the choices they make in their lives.
Instead of "taking another's actions personally," "judging" their behavior or performance, or experiencing the emotions of frustration, hurt or irritation....try on COMPASSION.
Compassion isn't about feeling sorry for someone, or holding them as incapable, or never able to change.
It's simply understanding and accepting where they are right now in this moment, allowing them to have "their own experience." Compassion allows you to "be with" anything. It's non-judgmental. It's a cousin to the emotion of "love," although it can be generously dished out to strangers, enemies and friends alike.
When we offer COMPASSION, we create more fertile ground for those around us to grow and change. And, when you're in "compassion" offering constructive input -- feedback or direction is more readily received. Not to mention, it feels better than the myriad of reactive emotions such as frustration, anger, or hurt. SOULFUL CHALLENGE: For the next week, Adopt-the-Emotion of COMPASSION. Use it as often as you can. Try exercising "compassion" with a grumpy spouse, a friend running late, a difficult client or employee, a street bum, the discombobulated waitress, a screaming child, someone who makes a stupid mistake, an elderly lady moving slowly or anyone else that sparks a response of frustration, anger or hurt in you. Realize they are "just being themselves". Notice how it feels to turn on COMPASSION.Textbook Definition: COMPASSION: The humane quality of understanding the suffering of others and wanting to do something about it. Granted to an individual because of an emergency or other unusual circumstances. Synonym - HUMANE - Characterized by kindness, mercy, or compassion. Marked by an emphasis on humanistic values and concerns. KIND; SYMPATHETIC; BENEVOLENT; MILD; GENTLE; TENDER; MERCIFUL.
May you week be filled with COMPASSION and greater inner peace.
Filed under Emotional Muscles | Comment (0)
The Power of Inner Choice: 12 Weeks to Living a Life YOU Love
ABOUT
Everyday Inner Peace is about maximizing YOUR inner peace. Whatever is interfering with your inner peace is temporary, unnecessary suffering. Here you’ll find tips, strategies and inspiration to return to relaxed bliss … in minutes. Everything is better in life with an abundance of "inner peace."
Living Life to the FULLEST
Honoring...Our Friend
Vytas Pazemenas
1938 - 2009
On November 15, 2009, we gathered for Vytas Pazemenas' Memorial at Balboa Yacht Club in Newport Beach. I found myself even more honored to know this unique man.
Born in Lithuania in 1938, as a child Vytas was smack in the middle of World War II, between the German Army and Red Army of Russia. His family once hid under a train, protecting themselves from gun-fire. His father was captured by the Russians...and later escaped. They finally fled Lithuania. Vytas was a refugee.
As a young man, Vytas came to the USA to attend college, graduating from Penn State with a degree in engineering. He chose the medical device industry, and steadily worked his way into management in Silicon Valley. He had a knack for recognizing and developing talent. In 1999, Vytas was invited to southern California to lead a company in distress. As CEO, he turned it around! When that company sold, Vytas decided it was time to start his own medical device company. Vytas was an avid sailor, and a fan of the book series about Jack Aubrey, a man of high character and integrity...hence the company name: The Aubrey Group. Vytas was a leader.
This week, gratitude is the perfect emotion to adopt. Gratitude is a feeling of thankfulness and appreciation. Appreciation and gratitude are interchangeable. In gratitude there is acceptance, love and acknowledgment of “what is”. In gratitude, there is spaciousness and connectedness.
APPLICATION - Appreciate the moment. Appreciate your strengths and weaknesses. Appreciate who you are, a unique being with personality and soul. Appreciate the gifts and challenges in your life. Appreciate your work, income, clients, employer, employees and referrals. Appreciate your health, your body, your senses, your ability to walk and live. Appreciate the acts of kindness and contribution you offer others, and that others contribute to you. Appreciate others' unique qualities, their foibles, quirks and gifts. Appreciate your environment, your neighborhood, city, state, country and planet. Appreciate the government for providing a structure that strives for order, safety, education, services and justice. Appreciate the entertainers, the artists, the business owners and entrepreneurs, laymen, doctors, lawyers, dentists, massage therapists, dry cleaners, yoga teachers, manufacturers, farmers, teachers, executives, cab drivers, salesmen, managers, photographers, wedding planners, electricians and garbage collectors. Appreciate freedom, free-trade, the stock market, opportunity, creativity and choice. Appreciate joy, love, peace, kindness, humility, forgiveness, truth, honesty, integrity, knowledge, wisdom and grace. Appreciate your stressful thoughts for expanding your awareness and allowing you to discover the truth. Appreciate the thoughts that allow joy and bliss to electrify your being. Appreciate your vulnerability, your humanity and your willingness to grow and learn.
Happy Thanksgiving!
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Yes, the holidays are around the corner! Your life is going reasonably well. You're focused, "on track" and feeling centered...yet all of a sudden your workload triples, an employee leaves, or a significant person in your life becomes emotionally distraught, or perhaps a death or illness surprises the family. And, children offer unpredictable challenges too.
And then it’s the holidays! One of my strengths as a coach, is guiding my clients in living and working from greater states of peace, centeredness and balance. This is the essential ingredient for magnetizing success and fulfillment, whether you are developing a relationship, own a business, manage a team, raise children, trade in the stock market, or are losing weight. Your outside world doesn't have to equal your inside world. Life is always presenting new challenges to strengthen our spirit, expand our consciousness, and foster growth. Learning how to master accessing the "calm" in any storm is a worthy goal, but it IS obtainable. What is your current "storm"? I challenge you to find your center in the eye of it all.
