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March 31st, 2010

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Inner Peace with a Smile

March 29th, 2010
Smiling at Strangers Several years ago, I would find myself, on countless occasions, in the grocery store or mall, feeling like a grouch and not wanting to talk with anyone at all. I'd tell myself, "it's too big of a hassle to 'be nice' and friendly”, or I didn't have the TIME or energy. FIDDLESTICKS!  After years of this unfulfilling practice, I decided this wasn't a true reflection of who I really am. I consider myself a loving human being, and I genuinely care about people. This old behavior was a poor reflection of me, AND it didn't make me feel good. So, I created a new practice when roaming with strangers, clerks and salespeople on my shopping excursions and errands. SMILING and being warm, friendly and open. That's it. Simple, and extremely fulfilling. Even the grouchiest of clerks can't help but feel happier after a momentary flash of pearly whites aimed at their heart. I continue to be amazed at how responsive and warm, strangers are to a genuine smile. And, what was once an "effort", is now natural and happens automatically (well, MOST of the time). SOULFUL CHALLENGE: Smile at Strangers for a week. For the many extroverts reading this, you probably already do this. I commend you,. and, there is always another level. Go for it!  For those of you who can relate to the original "shut-down, grouchy state" I talked about, GIVE IT A TRY. What have you got to lose?  Smiles are free.

Inner Peace with Arjuna Ardagh

March 26th, 2010
Meeting Arjuna Ardagh and Magic Moments in Nevada City I remember listening to Arjuna Ardagh on a live teleconference back in October. Moments after the call finished, I emailed Arjuna with three requests. First, I asked if I could interview him for my Conversations with the Masters series. He said "yes." Secondly, I asked if he'd be willing to be one of my guest speakers for my Inner Peace Immersion Retreat - October 20-24, 2010. He said "yes." Third, I asked if did one-on-one coaching and was there a way to hire him. He said "yes." So for many months, I've listened to hours of Arjuna's English accent as he offered wisdom and guidance -- often causing me to laugh out loud. We've exchanged countless emails. The day came when I put a face with a name! Here we are at the celebration dinner after the 5 day retreat I attended two weeks ago.

Arjuna Ardagh and Mary

Lunch Buddies - Julaine, Leslie (my Roommate on Retreat and Me

Jeanine Mancusi (Mary's 1st Coach)

Share a Magic Moment email: mary@lifecoachmary.com

Inner Peace Tip #3 – How to Stay Calm in Financial Crisis

March 24th, 2010
How to Stay Calm in a Financial Crisis No one loves a financial crisis, but it can be the greatest gift of growth.  The first truth to recognize is this - the world is dynamic and changing - and no matter the severity of the situation, it is ALWAYS possible to turn it aroundIt's simply a matter of time. Most millionaires have been broke at least a couple times in their life.  What is the difference between someone who turns around $25,000, $100,000, or $1M+ in debt (remember Donald Trump years ago)?  It's their ability to embrace the reality of the situation, then consciously act and adapt.  It may mean getting creative or taking a job that isn't your first choice.  It could mean filing bankruptcy.  It may require you to let go of your fears and play bigger than you ever have before. Finding your peaceful center during a financial crisis will allow you to remain connected to your most powerful sense of self and make clear and conscious choices.

Inner Peace through Sustainable Inspiration

March 23rd, 2010
Sustainable Inspiration... What is the invisible driving force fueling books to get published, gold medals to be won and transformational technologies to be born? Of course, setting a goal is the first step in any creative endeavor. Right? Yet, we all know symphonies, award winning films, best-selling books, presidential elections, innovative technologies, cures for diseases, child-rearing, building a new home, getting out of debt, companies going public or any other creative endeavor requires something more -- long-lasting motivation -- or what I call "sustainable inspiration." It's not enough to set the goal. In today's economy, I see a lot of people struggling financially. What's frustrating is the same people who complain about finances being scarce -- are the same people who are resting, relaxing or otherwise wasting valuable time. Maybe they're watching mindless television, spending hours on the computer or staying busy with activities unrelated to their deepest desires. Granted, I'm a big believer in "inner peace timeouts," self-care and feeding the soul. But, the last 90+ days has really taught me something about time and "sustainable inspiration."

24 Hours a Day PLENTY of TIME

First off, there are indeed 24 hours in a day. Most of us are really only skimming the surface about what's possible to accomplish in a day or a week. You know that's true. Most people work on average 8 hours a day, five days a week (though MANY who are struggling financially or procrastinating on an important project aren't even dedicating those hours toward something leading to financial success and the realization of their goals). If we sleep 8 hours a day (an inner peace essential), that leaves another FULL 8 hours for creativity to flow. That's up to 16 hours a day if you're working in a business that's also your passion. If you're willing to sacrifice sleep, that may even open up a few more hours. If you add weekend time, that's another 16-32 hours. (Notice, I'm still leaving time for sleep?)

"Yeah, But..."

Some may be stomping their feet and saying, "You've got to be kidding! You really expect me to work 16 hours a day? Or 112 hours a week!!! I thought we were suppose to ENJOY life?! How can this contribute to my inner peace?" So I'm not saying you should neglect your spouses, children, laundry or workouts. And, I'm not saying you should work 112 hours a week. But, I'm purposely drawing attention to all the time that is truly available to you. I don't know what your individual circumstances are, but there is one thing I know for sure. If you have a compelling enough goal or objective, what naturally emerges is "sustainable inspiration." You'll want to get up a little earlier or stay up later. You'll want to allocate time. You'll say "no" to activities that distract you from your inspired objective (TV, social media, negative friends). You'll even say "no" to things that are pleasurable in the moment because you know in the end, your desired outcome is even sweeter.

The Key to Goal Realization = Sustainable Inspiration

Every time I've taken a bold step in my business, launched a new program or published my book – it has required more than my regular 40 hour week. It just seems to take a focused burst of energy to birth "the next big thing." But the key to goal realization is not TIME. It's sustainable inspiration. Sustainable inspiration is a sense of aliveness and purpose fueling your creativity, attention and focus. It's deeply fulfilling and joyful. Sustainable inspiration is the WHY you're fired up about your project. Sustainable inspiration occurs when there is a deeper emotional connection to realizing your desired goal. When you're tapped into this "sustainable inspiration" it doesn't seem like work in the same boring old way. Sustainable inspiration is what inspires authors to burn the midnight oil somewhere along the path of getting their book published. Sustainable inspiration provided me the oomph to finally get out of debt several years ago. Sustainable inspiration got my husband out of bed at 2:30am one night (after getting home at 11pm) -- to meet a welder who was willing to help them from 3-5am (before he went to his regular day job). Sustainable inspiration is what gives you an extra boost of energy to work when your mind says it's time to quit.

Real Life Sustainable Inspiration...

Many know my husband John and his AeroGen team of brainy engineers took on the challenge of creating an innovative new wind turbine on a ridiculously short timeline. Since early December, they've worked nearly 7 days a week, from 7am until midnight -- most days. Several of the team members have other full-time jobs, yet their "sustainable inspiration" was so high -- it's kept them going strong, even when faced with impossible challenges.

Finding Sustainable Inspiration?

If you're not feeling inspired to work on your project, career, business or any important goal -- nearly every minute of the day, let's explore. What REALLY provides this endless, magical fuel? 1) Identify a compelling vision or goal. The first step is connecting to a desire or vision that sets your heart on fire! When you think about realizing it, a healthy combination of fear and excitement is a good sign. If you're not sure what to aim for, reach out to a coach to guide you in finding the clarity you need. If you have a vision identified, but it's not THAT compelling, then you'll need to play with your vision until the excitement factor increases sufficiently. A coach can help you adjust your vision. A vision that lacks clarity is going to be difficult, if not impossible to realize. It all starts here. Lesson #4 in The Power of Inner Choice can help you with this process. 2) Explore your WHY? Ask yourself, "Why do I really want this? What will realizing this goal give you?" You want to look at what benefits you'll receive -- mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually -- when you reach your objective. Example #1: After years of lugging around unwanted debt, a conversation with my tax accountant created just the "sustainable inspiration" I needed. I was getting married to John, and my accountant told me he waited 5 years to marry his wife until she got her debt handled. I didn't want John to have second thoughts about marriage, so I made sure my debt got cleared up. In addition to my passion for providing a way to serve more people, this was the "sustainable inspiration" for creating my "Success and Inner Peace Boot Camps." Example #2: John and his AeroGen team were given the opportunity to install an innovative new wind turbine in 60 days. If they did so, the potential for a large order could provide a nice income stream, and help them fund their other passion - Skytran. That was two aspects of their "sustainable inspiration." The other factor was the deadline imposed by nature. Each year, there is a window of time when the winds stop long enough to install a windmill. Once nature's deadline closes, the reality of the wind season means foregoing installation for an entire season. And, for each one of John's team members, they are deeply driven to work on worthwhile projects that can change the world. Good thing they had plenty of "sustainable inspiration!" 3) Get Emotionally Connected. How emotionally connected are you to realizing your outcome? A lot of people say, "I want a million dollars." Or, "I want to impact the world." Or, "I want to write a book." BUT, the vast majority of people aren't really emotionally connected to their WHY, their "sustainable inspiration." When you're really CONNECTED to your outcome it changes everything. John and his team didn't say, "Let's see how it goes." Or, "We'll try." They are committed to their outcome in every cell of their being. And even though they've experienced several setbacks, reaching the end goal was an absolute MUST in their hearts and minds. 4) Get Uncomfortable. As much as I believe full-heartedly in the perfection of this moment, I also know how complacency and comfort can kill inspiration. We've all seen married couples bask in their comfort zone. Then suddenly the woman is pregnant, and they're expecting a child. In lots of cases, this provides just enough discomfort and "sustainable inspiration" for the husband to become the sole provider. Or for the new Mom to get more efficient with her time. If you're TOO comfortable with the current situation, just know it has the capacity to squash "sustainable inspiration." So what is your most important goal for 2010? Do you have the sustainable inspiration to realize it? Sometimes just focusing on deepening "sustainable inspiration" allows for the connection to happen. If this is something you're struggling with, reach out to a professional life coach, like me. I'll be speaking about "sustainable inspiration" in greater detail in each of the 5 cities on my Awakening Beyond Achievement Tour. Come join me and up the ante on your "sustainable inspiration."

How can you increase your sustainable inspiration?

Inner Peace Quote: Mother Teresa

March 22nd, 2010

"If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other."

~Mother Teresa

Inner Peace Tip #2 – How Do You Stay Balanced with a Busy Life?

March 17th, 2010
How do you stay balanced with a busy life? It's essential to have a few "inner peace practices" that are MUSTS in your life.  And, be sure to sprinkle them in throughout your day. For example, start the day with a 10+ minute meditation or a vegetable smoothie.  At lunchtime, take a few minutes - away from your desk - to eat lunch, and reconnect with your breath (make sure you don't book yourself without a break).  In the afternoon, you might take a five minute "time out" and close your eyes, lie on the floor, and give yourself permission to "do nothing" for just a few minutes.  It does wonders! Other potent "inner peace practices" include time in nature, exercise, yoga, reading, listening to something inspiring on tape or CD, journaling, focusing on what you're grateful for, silent time, or using the "emWave." In the evening, make it a MUST to do something that brings you pleasure: lighting candles, nutritious and tasty meals, meaningful conversation, read, watch a movie or favorite TV show (not just any show), snuggle with your partner or make love.  Honor your body by letting it have a FULL night's sleep. Most importantly, listen to your body and be responsive during the day. A quick walk outside, a moment refocusing on your breath, or a "time-out" for doing nothing only takes a few minutes... but will make the world of difference in the balance you experience throughout your busy life.

Inner Peace through Choice – The Compounding Effect of Choice

March 15th, 2010
The Compounding Effect of Choice Most people are familiar with the compounding effect of money, as it's key to the long-term accumulation of wealth.  Saving a few hundred dollars each month grows into tens of thousands over time.  The principles of compounding also apply in every area of our lives, whether we like it or not. Internalize the simple principles in this article and adopt them for a lifetime.   Doing so will allow you to more easily stay focused on what is most important to you and take the necessary action steps to realize your desires. Willingness is the key. The compounding effect of choice is made up of two simple principles. The Mastery and Mediocrity diagram below illustrates this concept visually. Principle #1 "It is the simple disciplines (choices), that don't seem to make any difference at all in the moment; HOWEVER repeated over time, the compounded effect makes all the difference in the world." Principle #2 "It is the simple errors in judgment, that don't seem to make any difference at all in the moment; HOWEVER repeated over time, the compounded effect makes all the difference in the world."

Principle #1 in Action - "Simple Disciplines" - Focus on the upper side of the graph above.  The x-axis on the diagram depicts the role of time, while the y-axis represents the growth in mastery or success of something important to you.  This could represent progress in your profession, leadership, relationships, health, mothering, creative expression or cultivating a sense of inner peace. Each tick mark in the diagram represents one action, or "one simple discipline" or "one simple choice."  Unfortunately, the choices acted upon in the earlier stages don't reflect much growth for quite awhile. Much like saving a few hundred dollars each month, it doesn't SEEM to add up to much in the beginning stages. Without referencing this graph, it may feel discouraging and you may choose to quit before reaching your desired outcome.  However, if you were to continue repeating "it's the simple disciplines (choices), that don't seem to make any difference at all," AND continued to take simple actions, the compounding effect would eventually kick in.  You would ultimately experience the growth and success you desire.  It's simply a matter of time - AND CONSISTENT action. How often do people quit when they are nearing the finish line? There are three important elements in the compounding effect of choice. 1. Compounding Effect - Your actions will ADD upon the others. 2. Choice - ACTING or NOT ACTING is always a choice.  Choose consciously.  Frequency and effort make a difference. 3.  Time - Actions taken over time GROW. This visual representation has proven useful to me throughout the last decade and continues to keep me on track with important objectives.  Here's one of the ways I used this principle to support my goal of fitness. Personal Story - When I lived in Dallas, I frequented the gym.  There were many days that I did NOT feel like going.  Once there, often times I didn't feel like being there.  Can you relate? However, I simply repeated the following words in my head, over and over again. "It's the simple disciplines, that don't seem to make any difference at all, in the moment, but the compounded effect makes all the difference in the world." Clearly, my one little workout wasn't transforming my body into a Cindy Crawford.  I could see that each time I looked in the mirror.   It WAS discouraging in the moment.  However, I had faith in the process, and these simple words of wisdom.  I trusted the compounded effect of many workouts over time, combined with a matching nutrition regime, WOULD give me results. My current level of fitness is a clear reflection that the compounding effect of choice works! Ultimately, the habit of working out became second nature, and I rarely need to repeat, "It's the simple disciplines, that don't seem to make any difference at all, in the moment, but the compounded effect makes all the difference in the world." However, in the early days, I used it almost every day! Brand this principle into your being, and use it anytime you feel discouraged or uninspired to act (I do!).  It's a great reminder of the bigger picture. Simple Disciplines - Simple Choices - Reflect upon the compounding effect for each of the simple choices below.  The principle applies well in health, relationships, business success, money, self-care, self-esteem and in evolving one's Consciousness.  The principle also applies well in cultivating internal emotions and states of being, such as love, joy and inner peace.  Anything repeated over time ultimately creates a compounded resultWhat results in your life would you like to compound?
  • Reading 10 pages of a good book
  • Eating healthfully
  • Spending quality time with your children
  • Working out
  • A simple act of kindness
  • Saying, "I love you" to a loved one
  • Yoga or stretching
  • Meditating
  • Focusing on what you appreciate
  • Avoiding sugar or caffeine
  • Drinking a gallon of water per day
  • Saving money
  • Attending seminars
  • Listening to educational CD's
  • Getting up early
  • Cleaning off your desk each day
  • Volunteering
  • Listening closely to others
  • One extra hour of work
  • Being honest
  • Being on time
  • Pursuing a dream
"It is the simple disciplines (choices), that don't seem to make any difference at all in the moment; HOWEVER repeated over time, the compounded effect makes all the difference in the world." Principle #2 in Action - "Simple Errors in Judgment" - If you want to successfully boil a frog, it's best to turn the heat up over time or the frog will jump out and escape.  I wish no ill will to frogs, however it makes the point about "simple errors in judgment." These little actions or non-actions seem relatively harmless initially and for a period of time.  However, the compounding effect leads us to less pleasant results in our lives.  This is the model of mediocrity. "It is the SIMPLE ERRORS in judgment, that don't seem to make any difference at all in the moment, HOWEVER repeated over time, the compounded effect makes all the difference in the world." This principle is clearly illustrated in the lower portion of the diagram above.  Again the x-axis depicts the role of time, while the y-axis represents the accumulated negative impact or atrophy resulting from specific habits.  The results range from mediocrity to disaster.  This graph may depict the negative compounding effect of actions or non-action in any of the categories named above.  I find it most useful to apply this principle to the habits I would like to change. Each tick mark in the diagram represents one "simple error in judgment." As is the case in accumulating credit card debt, a little each month doesn't seem like a big deal.  The negative consequences don't reflect much impact for quite awhile. Without referencing this graph, it may seem that watching two hours of mindless television each night isn't hurting you in any way.   You may simply continue watching every day, while complaining about needing more time to pursue an important dream.  Two hours of television is relatively harmless.  However, the compounding effect of this "simple error in judgment" translates to 728 hours of television per year!  That is over 30 full 24-hour days in a year! Remember these elements in the negative compounding effect of choice. 1. Compounding Effect - Negative actions and non-actions ADD upon the others and create a cumulative effect. 2. Choice - ACTING or NOT ACTING is always a choice.  Choose consciously.  Frequency and lack of effort make a different. 3. Time - "Simple errors in judgment" create ATROPHY over time. Examples of "Simple Errors in Judgment." - Reflect upon the impact of the items I've included on the list below.  Some of these may initially appear harmless.   What consequences could result over time in compounding these "simple errors in judgment"? What other "simple errors of judgment" would you add to this list?  This list is not intended to elicit feelings of guilt or remorse.  We have all exercised "simple errors in judgment."  Use this list to stimulate awareness. In later chapters, you may or may not consciously decide to address something from this list.
  • Watching mindless television
  • Not saving money
  • Spending more than you earn
  • Being late
  • Complaining
  • Gossiping
  • Eating a cheeseburger or fries
  • Overeating
  • Spending time with negative people
  • Dwelling on negative thoughts
  • Interrupting people
  • Not being fully present when listening
  • Speeding
  • Smoking or using drugs
  • Disorganization
  • Listening to loud, abrasive music
  • Staying up late or sleeping in
  • Excessive time on the internet
  • Not working out
  • Not being friendly with others
  • Criticizing yourself or others
  • Procrastination
  • Maintaining a stressful lifestyle
  • Not taking personal time for yourself
  • Laziness - performing below your capacity
  • Not expressing appreciation to your partner
  • Time in a dead-end job
  • Too many desserts or candy
  • Arguing
Contrast and Compare - Another way to use this model is to compare a "simple discipline" or "simple error in judgment" with another.
  • If you read 10 pages of a good book today, and I don't, the difference between you and I on that day is pretty negligible.  In fact, after a month, the difference is still not that great.  However, if you continue to read 10 pages of a good book each day for the next ten years, the difference between you and I will be CONSIDERABLE.  If you focused your attention in a specific area of focus over that ten-year period, it's likely that you would be an expert in your field.
  • If I eat one ice cream bar today, and you don't, the difference in our level of health is not very significant.  However, if I eat an ice cream bar every day for a whole year, and you don't - all things being equal - there will likely be a CONSIDERABLE difference in our health.
Cumulative Discipline - Generally, it's not just about the ONE single discipline, or one simple error of judgment.  Some of our choices support our growth, and some don't.  Becoming aware of these choices is the first step.  Seeing a visual representation of their respective impact is also useful in fine-tuning our choice points.  There will be numerous simple disciplines you'll apply over and over again on your path of growth.  Enjoy the journey. Portions taken from Chapter 3 - The Power of Inner Choice by Mary Allen.  Explore 12 Fundamental Choices that will forever change the way you make choices and experience life. What are you consciously choosing, right now

Inner Peace Quote: Thich Nhat Hanh

March 11th, 2010

"Seek peace. When you have peace within, real peace with others will be possible."

-- Thich Nhat Hanh

Inner Peace Tip #1 – How can a Busy Person Calm Themselves Quickly?

March 10th, 2010
How can a busy person calm themselves quickly? I learned this tip at the top of a trapeze platform in Baltimore, MD (my friend Kate thinks it's FUN to take her visiting friends trapeze flying).  Do as the trapeze instructor directed me as I tried to find "calm" on top of a 30 foot platform. Take a DEEP breath in.  Hold it for a count of four.  Practice now.  INHALE... 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 ....and as you EXHALE drop your shoulders.  Then repeat this three to five times. What this simple exercise does is allow you to reconnect with your breath.  The more connected we are to our breath, the calmer we are.