Inner Peace Reminiscing About “Big Hair Days”

A few weeks ago, I flew to Dallas to reconnect with my work colleagues from 20+ years ago. My first real job was with "Technical Recruiting Associates". Yes, for the first four years out of college I was a "headhunter," finding top-notch computer programmers for my favorite clients, including Price Waterhouse, IBM and American Express. We were a tight-knit group, who celebrated top performance by going on a cruise each year (I was #2 in the company for three of my four years). Facebook reunited many of us "old-timers" this past Fall via internet. Then, the owners thought it would be fun to host a reunion at the end of January. How could I miss seeing all the people who had shaped my early years? Not only did this small company set the stage for business practices that would shape my life forever, this is where my path of "personal development" began. Through tears of gratitude, I finally got to express my appreciation to Karen DeGraffenreid -- in person, 22+ years later. I wouldn't be who I am today without THIS beginning.

KAREN & MARY

It was surreal to step back into a "happy hour" setting with all of my old colleagues -- who pretty much looked the same. Maybe a few extra creases around the eyes marking the passage of two decades. And, all the personalities I knew and loved are as vibrant as ever!

TRA ALUMS - 20+ Years Later

DuWee, Anji, Diana, Mary & Kristin

Of course, a few things have changed and evolved since our journeys began at TRA back in 1988. Why oh why was it cool to have "big hair" back in the day? In a spontaneous email, I promised I'd share a few old photos of my "big hair" days. Here I am at one of my infamous Xmas Parties. You'll see I pretty much look "the same" -- except for the BIG hair, shoulder pads and a few creases around the eyes. Oh to be young again!

Mary in 1989ish

Don't you just love that belt?

...and those shoulder pads!

Share a Magic Moment email: mary@lifecoachmary.com Filed under Fulfilling Lives, Uncategorized | Comment (0)

Inner Peace: This is so true

If you can start the day without caffeine, If you can always be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains, If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles, If you can eat the same food every day and be grateful for it, If you can understand when your loved ones are too busy to give you any time, If you can take criticism and blame without resentment , If you can conquer tension without medical help, If you can relax without liquor, If you can sleep without the aid of drugs, Then You Are Probably “The Family Dog”!

And ...  you thought I was going to get all spiritual ... Filed under Fulfilling Lives, Inner Peace 101, Inner Peace Moments | Comment (0)

Inner Peace Quote: Eckhart Tolle

"It seems that most people need to experience a great deal of suffering before they will relinquish resistance and accept -- before they will forgive."

- Eckhart Tolle

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Inner Peace Immersion Retreat – October 20-24th, 2010

"In just 4 days, you can learn how to quickly return to your powerful center, activate your reservoir of quiet strength and enjoy 'inner peace' as your predominant way of being ...no matter what is going on in your world." Even the smartest, wisest and most spiritually evolved are being tested today. How would you like to push the pause button - and learn how to effectively transform inner turmoil to inner peace - for yourself or others -  in the most challenging of moments?

Introducing… The Most Comprehensive Workshop on Cultivating Personal Inner Peace!

Inner Peace Immersion Retreat October 20-24th, 2010 Joshua Tree, California, USA

What Is It Costing You to NOT be at Peace?

www.innerpeaceimmersionretreat.com

Register now to be notified as more information becomes available about this Retreat and receive

5 Cool Bonus Gifts at No-Cost!

Hurry… special pricing available until February 28th Only!

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New Year Creation

Below are four related processes for a clarifying your 2010 vision. Since each of us is wired differently, it's useful to find the most effective visioning strategy for you. Some people LOVE to write goals, others avoid the process. Some love details, while others are big picture people. Some people LOVE visualizations, and yet others do best in verbalizing their dreams to others. Which style or styles resonate with you? The most important element in crystallizing your vision is finding a medium that allows you to connect "emotionally" to your vision. We often identify goals and visions intellectually, yet find ourselves disassociated and not inspired to achieve them. The juice, inspiration and magic unfolds when we are "emotionally engaged" with our visions. If you desire an amazing relationship, how would you FEEL if that partner was already in your life? How would you treat them? What activities would you enjoy together? If you desire a thriving business, what activities would fill up your day? Who would you spend time with? How confident and decisive would you be? If you desire a fit and trim body, can you imagine yourself eating healthy foods and looking forward to visiting the gym? What would it feel like to be 15 pounds lighter? If you desire a year filled with INNER PEACE, what practices would you relax into daily? What would you say "no" to? How would it feel to bathe in bliss at any moment? ENGAGING the SENSES in your VISION 1. Treasure Mapping - Creating a collage is an excellent way to engage the senses. This process involves finding pictures and words that capture your vision or visions. Magazines are great resources since advertising is designed to engage us emotionally. A picture says a thousand words...and at least a dozen emotions. A picture of a man and woman holding hands at the beach may embody feelings of romance, magic, love, connection and fulfillment. What body-type are you striving for? Where would you like to travel? What kind of home would you like to live in? Find the pictures that resonate with you. Look for words to embody that will support you in achieving your goals - in business or personal - such as "integrity", "confidence", "creativity", "value" or one of my favorites "joy". Create your own visuals when necessary with personal photos or Photoshop. In 2004 (and the last few years too!), I created an awesome treasure map, and nearly EVERYTHING on the poster came true. I "made-up" the concept of "Conversations with the Masters" that year...and interviewed three of the authors I had cut out pictures of - Byron Katie, Dr. David Hawkins and Wayne Dyer. I also had a picture of me and a wedding dress (I met my now husband in 2004). I also created a mock book cover, and something shifted in me when I saw "by Mary Allen" on the cover. It was August 2004 when all the pieces came together to get The Power of Inner Choice published!! I also cut out an Oprah Magazine cover and created a headline and put my picture on it. In August, I was noting all that I was manifesting and thought, "I wonder how this is going to happen (meaning Oprah)." About three days later, I received a call from The Oprah Winfrey Show. Use "treasure mapping" as a fun, creative way to expand your vision of what's possible. Doing this with a group is also inspiring. The visual creates an emotional connection that creates magic. 2. The Written Word - From listing out 10 to 100 Goals in bullet format, to describing your vision in a paragraph with lots of juicy details...the written word is highly effective at engaging the senses. Write it down. Don't underestimate the power of taking a passing thought and giving it life on paper. The more you describe your vision in detail the more REAL and associated it becomes in our nervous systems. The secret here is finding the language to elicit the emotions in YOU. I like to challenge my clients to write a "vision paragraph" articulating their most important goals. You may include descriptors of the end result, including how you and others feel. It's also helpful to describe the process in which you achieved the goal. What resources did you access? What steps did you take? Was it easy or difficult? Again, what feelings & emotions are present? Examples from various clients... WRITING VISION To organize and express my thoughts, feelings and experiences in a way that touches, inspires and empowers others to make new shifts, gain a better understanding of themselves & others, so they ultimately experience more abundance, love, energy, peace, joy and freedom inside themselves. To awaken lives to a higher possibility of themselves through books, articles and courses. To creatively pursue new avenues of expression, such as media, to get the message out to more individuals in an enjoyable, and effective format that touches their hearts. RELATIONSHIP VISION To deepen my soul connection with my life partner by enjoying, respecting, empowering and loving one another unconditionally. To share in open and honest communication, "seeing" and "being seen", listening intently, while expressing and receiving love. To experience the joys, adventures and challenges in life with ease and resonance. To inspire other couples of what’s possible in an intimate partnership. To experience a passionate, sensual, spiritual intimate relationship that exudes ecstasy, love and nourishment at the soul level. To learn, grow and evolve together in a safe, nurturing, forgiving and loving environment, ultimately bringing out the best of each individual. To create a family together that exemplifies our love and provides a nurturing home to our amazing children. HEALTH VISION To create and live a lifestyle which consistently causes me to be at my physical and emotional best, exemplifying and inspiring high standards of vitality, energy and physical beauty. To create a lean body with beautiful definition. No longer doing things with willpower, doing them with energy and power to burn. Every day in every way fulfilling the ideal of health. 3. VISUALIZATIONS - Using the power of your mind to cultivate and embody your vision is another powerful resource. Again, the more detail and emotion you can FEEL and bring to life in your body, the more effective it is in eliciting the inspiration, creativity and action necessary to fulfill your goal or dream. Clarifying and identifying the end result and associated feelings and emotions through any of these exercises is useful preparation, and well worth the initial time investment. Spending even a few minutes each day to expand and FEEL your vision being realized is potent. 4. FINDING A THEME - What is your theme for the New Year 2010? This is not about your resolutions or specific goals with "do by" dates. This is your vision or dream for the upcoming year. What do you feel energy and excitement around? What engages your imagination and feels compelling? The beauty in adopting a theme is it naturally engages the senses unlike traditional "in the head" goal-setting. This does not have to be a linear process. You may use one or more of the ideas that become stimulated from the questions below. Select a theme for 2010. You may want to create an inspiring atmosphere to do this exercise in – i.e. candles, music, nature, by a fire, etc. Have FUN with this process!

• If your vision were a piece of music, what piece would it be?
• If your vision was from nature what would it be? (Tree, ocean, brook….)
• What does it taste like?
• What does it smell like?What other senses can you use to develop your vision?
• What if your vision was a thousand times bigger? Describe what it would be.
• Use a metaphor to describe your vision.
• Are you forcing anything? Where can you ease off?
• What can you take less seriously?
• Are there any old rules you are holding on to? What can you eliminate?
• How would a six-year-old describe your vision?
• Ask yourself some "what if" questions. What if I ______?
• Add one outrageous or wacky element to your vision.

Which of processes above resonates with you? You may gravitate toward one them, or try them all. Each process engages the senses in a unique way. The first step is taking the time to clarify and refine your vision - and FULLY ASSOCIATING EMOTIONALLY with that vision. That alone can be effective at creating unbelievable momentum throughout the year. Secondly, super-charge your visions by revisiting your treasure maps, written goals and visions, themes or spend time visualizing - CONSISTENTLY. While you may utilize one of more of these processes in creating your vision, I recommend selecting ONE process to revisit on a regular basis. Monthly, weekly or daily. The more often you connect to your vision emotionally, engaging your senses, the more quickly you are likely to experience it reality. Try it. Allow 2010 to be your best year ever... Filed under Fulfilling Lives, Inner Peace 101 | Comment (0)

Yes/No List…

With all the choices available to us each day, month and year, how do we optimize our path? To help me clarify my focus for the new year, I added a new ritual -- the "Yes/No List."

Knowing what I want to say YES to consistently, and what I want to say NO to consistently, is proving a valuable compass over the last several weeks. Every time I bump up against a "choice point," I go inside and see how my YES/NO list could nudge me. To create your own Yes/No List, pull out a sheet of paper, drawing a line down the center. On the left column, label it "YES TO" and on the top of the right column, label it "NO TO." Then allow the inspiration to flow. (I spent a week or so contemplating my yes's and no's...so when I got to my sheet of paper, it was a breeze.) Here are some of the items that made my YES to list. My YES List... * Spaciousness. My creativity and productivity are most vibrant when I give it space. That means allocating time when there are no appointments...just "me time" without a pressing deadline. This is why I almost never schedule appointments on Mondays and Fridays. * Decisiveness. When change and growth are on the rise, the need for "decisiveness" is even more essential. Instead of procrastinating on tough decisions (or little inconsequential decisions), I'm leaning into "decisiveness." Yes to choosing NOW. Yes to honoring my intuition. * Inner Peace Practices. Saying "yes" to key "inner peace practices" is what fuels momentum and serenity in my life. Meditation. Reading. Dancing. Appreciations. My surrendering prayer. All yes's. More please. I JUST recommitted to my coach to up the ante on these practices. * Outsourcing. I've been a solopreneur for 15+ years. For years, I've enjoyed a virtual assistant for 10-12 hours per month. This year is different. The only way to realize this year's goals (AND maintain my inner peace) is to OUTSOURCE like crazy. I now have 3 virtual assistants and a project manager. And, I've hired three other folks to help with other tasks. And, I'm open to expanding more! BIG YES to freeing up my time for things only I can do. * Systemizing. To grow any business and leverage a team, requires solid systems. I'm working with another coach specifically to design systems for every facet of my business. If it's not flowing, there probably isn't a system in place. I'm saying YES to systems! Systemizing follow-up, ezines, videos, product creation and anything happening more than once. * Nurturing the Feminine. Resisting my feminine means resisting a huge part of who I am. My dear friend Allana Pratt and my mentor Arjuna Ardagh both reminded me recently why "nurturing my feminine" is such a priority. That means taking time for girlfriends, bubble baths, dancing, feeling all feelings, being girly and of course, hot sex (I can say that, right?) * In Person Connections. Being an "at home" solopreneur means the vast majority of my connections are via phone and internet. Last year, it was a joy to spend time building relationships in person...hosting two live events, speaking and attending other trainings. This is where bonding occurs. My "Awakening Beyond Achievement Tour" is born out of my desire to foster those "in person" connections. Let's bond. * Exercise & Fitness. For various reasons, I've slacked on my commitment to exercise. But, this year it's one of my big full-hearted "yes's"! Cardio, weights, yoga, hydration and healthy eating. Big YES! Consistency is also a big yes. * Transparency. Our greatest power comes when we share our most vulnerable and real selves with the world. I'm saying "yes" to peeling back more layers so that I can be even more fully seen, and more fully connect with everyone I come in contact with. That means even more candidness, silliness, depth, vulnerability and strength. That means you may learn a few more things about me this year. * Kindness. The grocery store clerk. My team members. Customer support people. Unsolicited callers. Strangers. Neighbors. Family. Friends. Drivers on the road. Oh, and ME. Everyone deserves kindness. That's why it is on my YES list. Each YES inherently has a built in NO. Stating the NO's are equally powerful. Interesting to see how most of my NO's are simply resistence to living even more fully on purpose. Here are some items from my NO list. Mary's No List * 12 Hour Days. I confess...in preparation for 2010, it's easy to go, go, go for 12 Hours straight (especially since John has been on a tight deadline for a big project working until midnight for the last 6 weeks!) BUT, I'm saying NO to 12 Hour Days. That means taking time for lunch, meditation, gym, outside time and spaciousness. * Smallness. Many of us were taught to minimize ourselves. The net result is playing much smaller than we're truly capable of. This isn't about an ego trip. It's about acknowledging the gifts and strengths we're each given. I'm saying NO to smallness. Will you join me on this one? * Pleasing everyone. As much as I'd LOVE to please everyone (really, really, I'd LOVE to!), I finally "get" how unrealistic it is. The more resources I share, the more potential for unsubscribes. The more I share my deepest thoughts and passions, the more likely I am to annoy someone. The bigger stand I take, the more feathers I could ruffle. I don't have all the answers for getting over this tendency, but "pleasing everyone" is on my NO list. * Drama. Have you ever noticed how much time, energy and attention can be consumed with drama? I've weaned most of it out, and am committed to saying NO to the ongoing seduction of drama. (Except, of course, for my indulgence of the TV show The Bachelor and "chick flicks." There IS a place for everything.) * Doing it All Myself. This goes hand in hand with outsourcing. I don't need to do it ALL myself (and you shouldn't either.) * Excuses. It's easy to find reasons something can't be done. Excuses foster procrastination, slacking on the YES list and momentum. Just say NO to EXCUSES. What an energy saver this is. And how much MORE gets accomplished. * Whining. What, me whine? Well, I could blame the hormones, but that's just an excuse. Truth is, I occasionally allow whininess to hijack my being. Alas!!! BUT, it doesn't feel good to me. And, it certainly doesn't feel good for those around me (namely John). Years ago, I received a fabulous t-shirt the day of a big move. It had a big red circle with a slash through the word WHINING. Time to pull that t-shirt out again. NO WHINING. * Anything that isn't a 100% YES. Pay close attention to that "inner voice" inside. This one keeps me from overcommitting too! Here's where "procrastination" is a useful friend. Just think of all the energy saved when I'm NOT saying yes to something that should've been a "no" to begin with. * Violent movies. Stress is stress. I've noticed how affected my body becomes when I watch a violent movie. I'm going to follow the lead of my dear friend Kate, and just say NO to violent movies too. (Unfortunately, this means more "chick flicks" for John!) * Overwhelm. By staying squarely focused in the present moment, giving my attention to "one thing at a time" -- there is no reason to subject myself to the tortures of overwhelm. It's just like taking ourselves to the scary movie, living into a future that hasn't even happened. Just say NO to overwhelm. I'm still learning to live into my YES's and NO's for the new year. Each one is rich with gifts and guidance. Can't wait to see where it all leads. So, what's on your YES list? What's on your NO list? Filed under Uncategorized | Comments (2)

Inner Peace Quote: Rumi

"Let yourself be silently drawn by the stronger pull of what you really love."

-- Rumi, Sufi poet

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Inner Peace and Love – The 5 Love Languages

People express and receive love in different ways.  Dr. Gary Chapman identifies these as “the five languages of love". 1.  Quality Time - Attention, quality conversation, time spent together doing something meaningful or enjoyable. Time is Love.  Attention is love. 2.  Words of Affirmation - "You are beautiful".  Words of acknowledgment, encouragement, or appreciation.  "You are a giving, loving, kind, warm person.  I love who you are".  Words of affirmation are words of love. 3.  Gifts - From big to small.  Flowers.  Gifts.  Cards. Cars.  Houses. Jewelry.  Stuffed Animals. Clothing. A gift can be a great gift of love.  Some people feel most loved with a gift. 4.  Acts of Service - Cooking dinner, washing the car, running an errand, cleaning the house, helping with a task, time spent in contribution to another. 5.  Physical Touch - Affection.  Massage. Making love.  Of course, everyone has their favorite way to be touched.  And, touch equals love to many. Knowing these 5 Love Languages allows you to GIVE and RECEIVE love from others more fully. Of course, we all can appreciate and enjoy each "love language", however there is typically one or two that make you feel MOST LOVED. Which one is your primary love language? How do YOU show love toward those you love? What we tend to do for others, is often a clue to what we enjoy receiving most… "If you express love in a way your partner doesn't understand, he or she won't realize you've expressed love.  Perhaps your husband needs to hear encouraging words, but you feel like cooking a nice dinner will cheer him up.  When he still feels down, you're puzzled.  Or, maybe your wife craves time with you -- time away from the kids & TV.  The flowers you gave her just don't communicate that you care."  - The 5 Love Languages How I've used the "5 Love Languages"... 1.  Noticing my own "love language"... what makes me feel most loved? Then, I can ask for more of what I want. For me, that's "Quality Conversation/Time", and Affection. 2.  FEELING more love from others, even if they don't know about the 5 Love Languages.  If anyone in my life gives me quality time, a word of affirmation, a gift, an act of service or is affectionate with me...I take it as LOVE now.  So, as a result, I feel much more love from my friends, family and significant others. 3.  Noticing "others" Love Language, so that I can ensure my friends, family AND significant others feel the love I have toward them. It's not just about romantic relationships.  And, it's more fun spending quality time, giving a word of affirmation, a gift, an act of service, or affection.....because I'm "intentionally" sending more love with each of these. Get "The 5 Love Languages" by Gary Chapman.....and learn more about applying these concepts in your life to maximize the love you give and receive in your relationships Filed under Fulfilling Lives, Inner Peace Practices, Inner Peace Strategies | Comment (0)

Conversations with the Masters – Arielle Ford

"Conversations with the Masters" Hosted By Mary Allen

Arielle Ford

Author of seven books including the popular Hot Chocolate For The Mystical Soul, and her most recent book The Soulmate Secret: How To Manifest The Love of Your Life with the Law of Attraction.

• Have you struggled to manifest your soulmate?
• Would you like to enjoy a passionate, loving relationship with your beloved for a lifetime?
• Are you a new or established author who would like to be a best-selling author one day?
• Curious about the secrets of the publicist who was the driving force behind the rising success of Deepak Chopra, Jack Canfield, Mark Victor Hansen, Neale Donald Walsch and Debbie Ford?

Arielle Ford CONVERSATIONS with the MASTERS

Tuesday, February 23, 2010 12pm Pacific (3pm Eastern)

Cost: No Charge Register Now by Visiting: www.lifecoachmary.com/arielleford.htm

During This Interview We'll Explore:

• How to prepare your body, mind, heart, spirit, and home for the arrival of your perfect life partner
• Unhooking from past relationships so you are fully available to receive love in the present
• How to summon the powerful forces of attraction used to magnetize deep and passionate love
• Secrets to publishing, publicity and building a platform
• What it really takes to be a best-selling author

Personal Note from Life Coach Mary: I met Arielle Ford last September at a private networking event in San Diego. She was one of the attendees I was most looking forward to meeting, even more gracious and down-to-earth than I imagined. Arielle Ford first caught my eye when she launched her 25 audio CD and resource guide, Everything You Should Know About Publishing, Publicity and Building a Platform. Then I learned she was one of the driving forcing shaping the careers of such notable best-selling authors including. Deepak Chopra, Jack Canfield & Mark Victor Hansen creators of the Chicken Soup for the Soul series, Neale Donald Walsch author of Conversations With God, and her sister, Debbie Ford -- who I've always admired. I often wondered how I could have Arielle on my team! When I met Arielle this Fall, and learned about her latest book and passion, The Soulmate Secret, I immediately knew how perfect she'd be for February's Conversations with the Masters. Please join me on February 23 at 12 Noon PT for this unique opportunity to learn about attracting your soulmate and some behind the scenes publicity secrets. About Arielle Ford: Arielle Ford has mastered the art of making things happen. A nationally recognized publicist and marketing expert, producer, author and consultant she has catapulted many authors and celebrities to stardom and enormously facilitated the rapid growth of the self-help and human potential movement in the US. As the former president and founder of The Ford Group, a successful public relations and marketing firm, she helped launch the careers of Deepak Chopra, Jack Canfield & Mark Victor Hansen creators of the Chicken Soup for the Soul series and Neale Donald Walsch author of Conversations With God. She has also handled publicity for myriad best-selling authors including; Wayne Dyer, Dean Ornish, Debbie Ford, Gary Zukav, Marianne Williamson, Louise Hay, Don Miguel Ruiz, Kenny Loggins and many other notable authors, 11 of whom became #1 on the New York Times bestseller list. As one of the nation’s leading book publicists Arielle compiled her knowledge and expertise in the industry to create a 25 audio CD and resource guide, Everything You Should Know About Publishing, Publicity and Building a Platform, It is a favorite among first-time authors and has received rave reviews. Arielle is also the author of seven books herself, including the popular Hot Chocolate For The Mystical Soul series. Her latest book is The Soulmate Secret: How To Manifest The Love of Your Life with the Law of Attraction. As one of the founding partners of the Spiritual Cinema Circle, a DVD club dedicated to movies about love and compassion, Arielle created unique marketing and affiliate strategies that added to the success of the company, which was bought by Gaiam in 2006. Arielle is also the co-producer of Deepak Chopra’s Happiness Prescription, a new PBS pledge show that aired nationally in March 2008.

FINDING BIG LOVE IS POSSIBLE AT ANY AGE By Arielle Ford

Is it your dream to find a soul mate?  A life-partner who will love, cherish and adore you? As someone who didn’t meet and marry my soul mate until I was 44, I learned a lot along the way about what does and doesn’t work in the world of love and romance. Here’s what I know for sure: finding true love is possible for any one at any age if you’re willing to prepare your self, on all levels, to become a magnet for love. When I decided to manifest my soulmate my intentions became crystal clear while I simultaneously cleared out the clutter in my house AND in my heart.  I learned and invented techniques, rituals, visualizations and prayers that helped me prepare my body, mind, spirit and home for an amazing relationship.  And they worked. I met my husband, Brian, who has exceeded all of my desires and expectations. He was and is everything I ever wished for. I believe that the Universe is always mirroring back to us our beliefs about our selves and the world.  If we believe the world is a loving and friendly place, then most of the time that will be our experience. So, believing and knowing that your soul mate is out there is the most important part of the formula. To manifest your soul mate here are the ten top things to do and remember:

• Be the loving person that you are. Find ways to express more love to everyone in your life.
• Live in the knowingness that you are in a loving, committed relationship.
• Live that truth every day as you savor the waiting for your beloved to arrive.
• Create a “vision map” of your romantic vision and look at it daily.
• Write a list of the most important qualities your soul mate will possess.
• Heal your heart of any past hurts that will prevent you from magnetizing big love.
• Clear out the clutter in your home and create space for your beloved (especially in your closets).
• Create an altar in the relationship corner of your home.
• Listen to your intuition to take action when opportunities present themselves.
• Fall in love with yourself. Know that you are loveable.

Big love is possible for any one of any age if you are willing to become a magnet for love.  Continue to live each day in the knowingness that you are in a loving, committed relationship as you savor the waiting for your beloved to arrive.

#  #  #

Arielle Ford has spent the past 20 years living and promoting consciousness through all forms of media. She is the author of THE SOULMATE SECRET: Manifest the Love of Your Life with the Law of Attraction (Harper One). She lives in La Jolla, CA with her husband. Please visit her websites: www.everythingyoushouldknow.com, and www.soulmatesecret.com Filed under Conversations with the Masters | Comment (0)

Inner Peace through Acceptance

Accepting YOU or Accepting YOUR EGO? Ok, let's face it.  We LOVE it when everyone in our lives loves and accepts us unconditionally. That's a true friend, right?  Or is it...? When we're running late or irresponsible, and they don't give us a hard time.  When we're a mess emotionally, and they listen to our "story"...over and over again, and continue to offer their support.  When we're PMS-ing (aka "being bitchy, whiney or needy" for women) or "isolating" (for men).  I appreciate it when others overlook my flaws and the poor emotional states I'm in, AND still want to spend time with me, accept me and love me. Have you ever gotten frustrated with someone, when you thought they weren't "accepting who you are"? I've had that experience more than once.  I thought, "Gosh, other people seem to accept me as I am, why can't THEY?" Then it dawned on me. Is what I want them to ACCEPT, really ME? Of course, if I'm copping an attitude about their so-called inability to accept me for who I am, I'm probably not exactly being a "lovebug", am I?  When this phenomena happens, I can almost guarantee that I've stepped into a world of FEAR, feeling needy, insecure, overwhelmed, frustrated, or emotionally distraught in some way. Yuck! Are those emotions who I really am? NO.  And, do I really want THEM to do something to REINFORCE or ENCOURAGE me to continue these "ego-based" unattractive emotions? NO. Not really. If you're lucky, as I've been, you'll have someone who loves you "call you on it in some way".  However, they probably won't say it in a gentle tone, "Oh Mary, I notice you're being a little needy and insecure, right now...that's not who you really are, is it?". Usually "the guidance" will come in CODE LANGUAGE, which could easily be mistaken as "lack of love". You'll experience their RESISTANCE to "the faux you".....perhaps they'll withdraw, get angry or frustrated at you, or say something hurtful.  And, it may even deepen those "icky emotions" you gingerly want them to accept. Their HONEST reactions actually say, "I don't like who I perceive you are being right now". Here's an opportunity to check-in with yourself and see who you ARE being.  Would YOU want to be with YOU in this state?  IS this REALLY who you are, or has an "imposter temporarily taken over your body"? That imposter is your EGO. If you're thinking, but shouldn't my friend or spouse "accept me as I am"? They do accept you, or they wouldn't be in your life.  But, who they WANT to accept in that moment is the "REAL YOU"...FREE of the ego's story or illusion of fear, frustration, insecurity, neediness and emotional turmoil. Who are you being when you're "most authentic", LOVING and accepting of THEM? Isn't this really YOU?  Don't they seem to readily ACCEPT you when you're really being you're most relaxed, carefree, authentic, loving self - free from the bondage of the ego mind's fears? And, yes...ultimately I agree, the highest form of LOVE is "accepting what IS".....even if you or they AREN'T being "an angel". But, we're not interested in THEIR personal growth, right now...we're interested in YOURS. So First, take their "CODE LANGUAGE" of RESISTANCE as a gift and look inside yourself. Deal with the source of the frustration, insecurity or neediness.  The source of it, is ALWAYS YOU (even if we're sure it's them). Secondly, practice dishing out what you want from them..."ACCEPT who they are" unconditionally. Ego and all.  They are just being themselves, exactly as they should be in this moment.  Giving you an opportunity to expand your LOVE muscles. Filed under Inner Peace Strategies | Comment (0)