In honor of the upcoming holidays, I thought it would be timely to remind you of the concept of SIMPLICITY.
In coaching, my job is to help clients keep ideas alive between sessions, so they realize the full benefits of an idea put into action. One of the most effective ways to do this is having a “structure” or “que” to REMIND one to live a desired intention.
The Minders Collection™ was designed to assist you in keeping a lesson alive in your life. The Gem-Minders™ subtlety reminds you with beautiful colors and symbols on your wrist. They look good and carry inspired meaning with you everywhere you go. A quick glance or a soulful meditation on these thoughtful images, supports you visually and emotionally.
The Path of Simplicity
• Yellow is creativity to inspire us to find new creative ways to live in simplicity.
• The butterflies in between each gem signifies transformation as we apply simple “spiritual principles” in our lives in lots of creative ways.
• Musical note reminds us to listen to the musicin life, and dance and sing along with it.
• The “spiral” symbol represents the labyrinth, a meditation practice used centuries ago and reminds us to “go within” and listen to our inner guidance to help us finding creative ways to live in simplicity.
Living Life to the FULLEST
Honoring...Our Friend
Vytas Pazemenas
1938 - 2009
On November 15, 2009, we gathered for Vytas Pazemenas' Memorial at Balboa Yacht Club in Newport Beach. I found myself even more honored to know this unique man.
Born in Lithuania in 1938, as a child Vytas was smack in the middle of World War II, between the German Army and Red Army of Russia. His family once hid under a train, protecting themselves from gun-fire. His father was captured by the Russians...and later escaped. They finally fled Lithuania. Vytas was a refugee.
As a young man, Vytas came to the USA to attend college, graduating from Penn State with a degree in engineering. He chose the medical device industry, and steadily worked his way into management in Silicon Valley. He had a knack for recognizing and developing talent. In 1999, Vytas was invited to southern California to lead a company in distress. As CEO, he turned it around! When that company sold, Vytas decided it was time to start his own medical device company. Vytas was an avid sailor, and a fan of the book series about Jack Aubrey, a man of high character and integrity...hence the company name: The Aubrey Group. Vytas was a leader.
Vytas built a top notch engineering team through his somewhat unusual interviewing techniques. Nearly every man who spoke at the Memorial chuckled as they remembered how Vytas presented a "puzzle" for them to solve in that initial interview. It quickly revealed one's "on-the-spot" thinking skills. Apparently these "puzzles" were Vytas' secret for culling talent. Vytas was discerning.
Collectively, this talent has saved countless lives and silently impacted the world in a myriad of ways. The first time I visited Aubrey Group, tears came to my eyes as I learned about project after project.
Aubrey Group has won many awards. Some of the most significant projects include:
1) DNA Analyzer - Uses electronics to detect diseased DNA on a laboratory benchtop.
2) Orthomedical Heart Assist Pump - A wearable device for patients waiting for a heart transplant.
3) Dialysis Machine - a device allowing patients to give themselves blood dialysis at home. Great for patients with kidney problems.
4) Permanent Glaucoma Treatment with a single needle implant...taking less than 10 minutes.
5) Neoline System - an electronic aide for more precise knee replacements.
6) Blood Purifier - a way to eliminate blood pathogens at blood banks.
7) Tissue Genesis - an easy and safe way to extract stem cells from the body.
8) Proactive treatment for breast cancer (that's not yet on the market...funding for this stopped when the market crashed awhile back).
No small task to attract projects of this magnitude and then to lead the teams to continually deliver innovations for their clients. For those needing these treatments, Aubrey Groups contributions are the unacknowledged miracle adding more ease and life to the world. Vytas created significant value to the world.
But business wasn't Vytas only passion. He was also a poet. He enjoyed memorizing poems, and in challenging situations always had an appropriate poem to share. Vytas was a man of depth.
Vytas was also a sailor, rallying his employees (and anyone willing to learning "the ropes") to participate in the sailing races in the ocean. You could also catch him delighting in powder skiing in the winter months. Vytas was an adventurer.
For years, his daughter found her greatest bonding time aboard a sailboat. It was one of the only havens where she escaped his "lectures." Vytas was a committed father.
Vytas spoke at engineering schools, inspiring more young men and women to choose this path. He was passionate about how engineering could make a difference in the world. Vytas also gave generously, donating money and time to worthy causes in the community. Vytas was a passionate philanthropist who gave back.
Vytas adored his wife Cathy. The twinkle in his eyes was always a little brighter when the love of his life entered the room. Vytas was a loving husband.
Vytas and Cathy
Vytas enjoyed dining in style, selecting the finest wines to accompany each meal. And, he loved chocolate! Vytas was a connoisseur.
But food and wine was just a way to bring good friends together for stimulating conversations about philosophy, politics, religion and life. Anything to challenge the mind. No subject was off limits. And...controversy was always welcome. Vytas was comfortable in his own skin and free to be himself around others.
Physical fitness was a part of his everyday life, whether running in the neighborhood or pumping iron at the gym. For Aubrey Group, he brought in experts to give his employees access to exercise programs, yoga, meditation and massage breaks. Vytas was a health enthusiast.
Words can't quite capture the full spectrum and depth of this unique man.
Banner on Vytas' sailboat the day of the Memorial.
This was the toast made with Benedictine before
setting sail each time.
We're wishing him a safe journey home.
I'm going to miss the birthdays and celebrations with Vytas and his wife Cathy. I'm going to miss toasting with "Benedictine" as we set out for a day sail (a long-time tradition!) I'm going to miss the sparkle in his eye when he greeted me (as he did everyone.) I'm going to miss how I felt in his presence.
I already miss him.
But, I know I'm not the only one.
Vytas left an impression on everyone he met. At the Memorial, hundreds gathered...and very few with a dry eye (many, many, many of them men.) Fortunately, so many of the fond memories and stories brought laughter and joy in the room. November 15th, 2009 was truly a day of celebration.
Once in awhile we get lucky enough to meet someone who embodies so many admired qualities. Once in awhile we get lucky enough to know someone who so fully embraces every moment of life with gusto.
Vytas was one of those men. His legacy lives on.
I know I am more inspired than ever to experience my life even more fully. How about you? We never know when our chapter in life comes to a close. I thank Vytas -- from the bottom of my heart -- for showing me what a life well lived looks like.
_________________________
My dear friend Clark Foster wrote this after
learning about Vytas' death.
Finding in the Good
by Clark Foster
"You manage to find something good in every situation " Vytas would say that to me with a distinct cheer in his voice.
I, like many are so saddened by the passing of Vytas that finding good is a major challenge.
Still, I feel compelled to sort through the feelings out of a desire to honor my friend.
So where is the good? Look around a bit and it shows up .
Our sadness reflects how much Vytas meant to us. So it is good that we met a remarkable soul.
Our lives have been improved having met Vytas. Recall his whole person as an example of gracious leadership, so that would be good.
Our minds have been challenged, and delighted having spoken with Vytas. We have grown in both heart and mind, yes that is good.
Our careers have been flavored with gratifying projects and puzzles. Our work at the Aubrey Group makes a difference to the world, good.
Our appreciation of the wonders of the world has been broadened. Vytas displayed balance in work, love, life and fun, good too.
Truly we have much good from knowing Vytas.
We are indeed privileged and with cause, appreciative.
Then there are a few personal flashes of Vytas good that come to my mind .
His sparkle of deep happiness while presiding over my marriage to Janet.
The playful voice of Vytas during the Benedictine toast to Poseidon from the stern of Cyrano as wind fills the sails.
The substantial conversations while dining often seasoned with at least one of the three taboo topics.
The twinkle in his eye when ones work exceeds his expectations.
The wonder in his "Wu Hoo" holler while skiing untracked powder beyond the boundary ropes.
The sincere delight in his voice when Cathy is present.
There is a lot more flashes of good, but I get sad recalling them right now.
I choose to see our sadness as evidence of the good that is Vytas.
Thank You Vytas .............................Clark
“GRATITUDE unlocks the fullness of life.
It turns what we have into enough . . . and more.
It turns denial into acceptance, chaos into order,
Confusion to clarity.
It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home,
A stranger into a friend.
Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today,
And creates a vision for tomorrow.”
-M. Beattie
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This week, gratitude is the perfect emotion to adopt. Gratitude is a feeling of thankfulness and appreciation. Appreciation and gratitude are interchangeable. In gratitude there is acceptance, love and acknowledgment of “what is”. In gratitude, there is spaciousness and connectedness.
APPLICATION - Appreciate the moment. Appreciate your strengths and weaknesses. Appreciate who you are, a unique being with personality and soul. Appreciate the gifts and challenges in your life. Appreciate your work, income, clients, employer, employees and referrals. Appreciate your health, your body, your senses, your ability to walk and live. Appreciate the acts of kindness and contribution you offer others, and that others contribute to you. Appreciate others' unique qualities, their foibles, quirks and gifts. Appreciate your environment, your neighborhood, city, state, country and planet. Appreciate the government for providing a structure that strives for order, safety, education, services and justice. Appreciate the entertainers, the artists, the business owners and entrepreneurs, laymen, doctors, lawyers, dentists, massage therapists, dry cleaners, yoga teachers, manufacturers, farmers, teachers, executives, cab drivers, salesmen, managers, photographers, wedding planners, electricians and garbage collectors. Appreciate freedom, free-trade, the stock market, opportunity, creativity and choice. Appreciate joy, love, peace, kindness, humility, forgiveness, truth, honesty, integrity, knowledge, wisdom and grace. Appreciate your stressful thoughts for expanding your awareness and allowing you to discover the truth. Appreciate the thoughts that allow joy and bliss to electrify your being. Appreciate your vulnerability, your humanity and your willingness to grow and learn.
Happy Thanksgiving!
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We are human BEINGs, not human DOINGs. And society has conditioned most of us to DO, DO, DO, and offered little to no "training" in simply "being".
Underneath all the doing in life lies some sort of BEING energy - it may be determination, confidence, love or even anger, fear or depression. Some combination of BEING energy is ALWAYS driving the DOING energy, however most of us don't consciously choose the energy that serves us most.
So, how do you want to BE?
A: Overwhelmed, angry and frazzled
B: Loving, clear and grounded
C:_____________ (you fill in the blank)?
Would the "being" states of A or B influence your "doingness" or output? Absolutely. The good news is, over time you can re-condition yourself to live in the states of "being" that support your highest happiness. Your "being" states dramatically impact your level of joy and satisfaction, whether you are conscious about it or not. Why not choose consciously?
What BEING states do you want more of in your life? What BEING states do you want less of? What will you choose?
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"As we express our gratitude,
we must never forget that the highest appreciation
is not to utter words, but to live by them."
- John Fitzgerald Kennedy
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LOVE… This is truly one of the great emotions in life, isn’t it? The word LOVE is used in numerous ways to capture that special connection that ties us all together as human beings, and to everything we have an affinity for. In our purest state, I believe we love everyone and everything in this world. The dictionary defines “love” in the following ways.
A deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude toward a person, such as that arising from kinship, recognition of attractive qualities, or a sense of underlying oneness.
A feeling of intense desire and attraction toward a person with whom one is disposed to make a pair; the emotion of sex and romance.
An intense emotional attachment, as for a pet or treasured object.
A person who is the object of deep or intense affection or attraction; beloved. Often used as a term of endearment.
An expression of one’s affection: Send him my love.
A strong predilection or enthusiasm: a love of language.
The object of such an enthusiasm: The outdoors is her greatest love.
Sometimes love seems so natural, as we love our families, friends, pets, children and favorites in life. We love out of appreciation and gratitude. We love moments, people and memories that put smiles on our faces. We love feeling good. We love to love.Yet, sometimes we forget to love, as we get caught up in distraction, stress, fear and suffering. Sometimes we fool ourselves in believing that the emotion of “love” is somehow not appropriate. I don’t believe that love is ever inappropriate. There are times I’ve stayed present to love when others have been “critical”, “cold”, “controlling”, “broken their word”, “forgotten a birthday” or “shut down in fear”. Loving through those moments have been some of the sweetest of my life.
“When they attack you
and you notice that you love them
with all your heart,
your Work is done.”
-- Byron Katie
The place I see that we forget to love the most is toward - ourselves. Have you ever found yourself saying any of the following?“What’s wrong with you? You shouldn’t be upset. Get motivated!! You’re never going to get it right. Get off it already, you shouldn’t be sad or depressed, you should be grateful. You blew it. I can’t believe you made that mistake AGAIN!! You know better. You can eat, exercise or sleep later, quit your whining and keep going!! I can’t believe you spoke in that tone of voice, why don’t you be nicer? You’re mean. You’re just lazy. You’re SO judgmental. Keep going, keep going -- I don’t care if you’re tired, you need to get this done. Do you really think you’re ever going to be successful? Give it up. You should’ve...you could’ve...you didn’t.”Unfortunately, this is what many of us do to ourselves all day long. We nag, judge and push, while simultaneously resisting ourselves. The judge, the know-it-all, the martyr, and the slave driver all have voices. You can either let those voices dominant your internal world, or you can learn to LOVE yourself - no matter what.
“Love thy neighbor, as thyself.
And, make sure you do love yourself.”We can start by loving others unconditionally, or loving ourselves unconditionally. Love breeds love. The practice of “LOVING” is a lifetime pursuit...both in loving yourself, and loving others. The ultimate is simply love for all. And, as reflected in the movie, life continues to present opportunities to love on deeper and deeper levels. Fortunately, the more one LOVES, the sweeter, more fulfilling and effortless life becomes. However, learning to LOVE deeply in all circumstances, to all people, to all things and to yourself takes practice and commitment.
It’s painful NOT to love.
Anytime we experience stress, frustration, resentment, fear, anger or aggression of any kind, it’s painful because love feels like it’s missing. Are we LOVING others in these moments? More importantly, are we LOVING ourselves? While we often believe the love is lacking from “others” outside ourselves, in actuality, it’s always an inside job. We’re the only ones that cut ourselves off from experiencing love. This is why it seems that “Jesus” was able to endure his path. These moments become opportunities to deepen our experience of love for ourselves and toward others.While it’s unlikely that any of us will have to endure the brutality that was portrayed in “The Passion of the Christ”, we each have our own experiences of being betrayed, criticized, mistreated and harmed by others. Most of us experience more pain through emotional attacks than actual physical harm. It’s loving others in these times, while simultaneously loving ourselves that is the key to the ultimate freedom and fulfillment.As reflected in the movie, one concept that seems to accelerate “loving” is viewing the “attacker” as innocent, thus treating them with compassion and forgiveness. Fear impedes love, and fear is a part of our humanity until we learn to transcend it.To love others and ourselves unconditionally requires us to let go of certain conditioned beliefs around “loving”, such as when it is appropriate and not. This can be painful. You may also experience others judging you for loving someone who doesn’t seem to “deserve it”, because they haven’t found love in that situation for themselves. That’s okay. Love anyway. I’ve found that loving unconditionally is the ultimate, and a worthy endeavor. When you find yourself loving a “screaming child”, loving your “attacker”, or loving the person who “cut you off in traffic”...you’ll likely notice a feeling so sweet, you’ll want more and more of it. And, you’ll find that more and more love pours into your life.The Loving Practice. There is an opportunity to deepen the love for yourself in “difficult moments”, “ordinary moments” and “moments of celebration”. The same principles can be applied to deepening your love for others.Loving Yourself in Difficult Moments - The most difficult times to love are when you’re in emotions such as anger, sadness, frustration, overwhelm, apathy or stress. Love yourself in these moments. Just notice. You may say something like, “Sweetheart, I see that you’re feeling really stressed or frustrated. It’s okay. I love you, and I’m here for you.” It’s not about CHANGING the emotional state, it’s about BEING WITH YOURSELF in that moment, accepting and loving you - AS YOU ARE. Loving yourself in your sadness. Loving yourself in your pain. Loving yourself in your laziness. Loving yourself as you’re attached to a stressful thought. Loving yourself in fear. Loving yourself when you’re not inspired. Loving yourself in your irritation or overwhelm. Loving yourself in your anger and rage. Love yourself in your embarrassment. Loving yourself in your “emotional messiness”, in chaos and vulnerability. Whatever emotional state you hate experiencing most, or RESIST the MOST, is the state you need to LOVE YOURSELF in the MOST. Notice what happens when you love yourself without forcing yourself to be different.And, how does it feel to love another person when they are sad, stressed, lazy, overwhelmed, angry, critical or shut down? As we love ourselves more unconditionally, it becomes easier and easier to love others.Soulful Challenge: Loving YOURSELF- Love yourself ALL THROUGHOUT the day and week. No matter what you’re doing. Watch your inner dialogue. Look particularly for any moment where you feel anxious, stressed, depressed, overwhelmed, disconnected, upset, or ANYTHING that feels like resistance or reaction in any way. Love yourself in those moments. Gift yourself with acts of kindness, be responsive to your needs and wants, expand your awareness, accept another part of your humanity, and forgive yourself. Challenge yourself to stay present to this exercise. Be your own best friend and supporter throughout the week. Practice makes perfect.
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Do you get an energy slump in the afternoon? Are you relying on caffeinated drinks like coffee, tea and soda to "pick-you-up"? What if you could zip up your energy naturally and effectively?
One of my favorite clients once came to our call to explore alternative ways to tackle the mid-afternoon energy droops. Finding three empty coffee mugs, a Diet Red Bull and two empty tea cups on her desk at the end of a crazed day jolted her system in more ways than one. She was also finding it more difficult to sleep at night after artificially zipping up her adrenals all day. Fortunately, she was ready and WILLING to implement alternatives. Here's a snapshot of the list we generated that day with a few additional ideas.
1. Breathing. When stress sets in, the body contracts. Instinctually breath becomes more shallow. We practically stop breathing. Less oxygen makes it to your brilliant brain cells, and passing out on your desk becomes inviting. Fortunately, the fix is simple. Bring your conscious attention to your breath. Inhale with deep diaphragm breaths. Make your belly rise and fall with each breath. Most of us only breathe from our chest. Where is your breathing now? Get the oxygen pumping again. A phenomenal exercise involves breathing in a 1:4:2 ratio. It works like this. Breathe in for 8 counts, hold for 32 counts, and exhale for 16 counts. Any 1:4:2 ratio works. Breathe in for 10, hold for 40, and exhale for 20. You're exhaling out longer than you're breathing in. Repeat this 10 times.
Ever wonder why smokers feel better after a cigarette? While they are out puffing, they are taking deep breaths which relax the body. But, you can get the benefits without jeopardizing your health. And, it's free. So, take a "breather," and notice how inspired and energized you become.
I have found "breathing" exercises particularly useful as I was standing on the trapeze platform, getting ready to swing, hang from my knees, and be caught in midair. The instructor said, "Breathe in deeply. Hold for 3-4 counts. And, exhale as you drop your shoulders." Surprisingly, I became quite relaxed as I stepped to the edge and grabbed the trapeze bar. By my sixth flight, using this breathing exercise at the bottom, about three times, I was ready to go immediately when I arrived at the top. Remember to breathe.
2. Hydrate. One of the quickest and easiest remedies is gulping down a nice, filtered glass of water. Maybe several. Drinking shifts your breathing, gets the blood flowing, and brings more oxygen into your system. It's difficult to maximize the output of your mind when it's low on water. Give yourself a treat. Hydrate. Sometimes, this is all it takes. And, sometimes we need to take the NEXT step.
3. Let's Get Physical. Cartwheels and jumping jacks are two silly, yet effective ways to get the blood re-circulating in a foggy brain. Seriously. Grab a partner like my client does and enjoy a cartwheel or two. I've been known to do 25 jumping jacks when I need to break a slump prior to a live conference call or mid-afternoon coaching session. It always works.
Not up for cartwheels or jumping jacks? Try a walk around the block, a dash up and down the stairs, 3-5 minutes on a rebounder, or some yoga stretches. Remember, any yoga posture involving a back bend is even better for energizing your system Standing bow-pulling posture, camel or bridge posture are all excellent energizers. Run around the block, turn on the music and dance, twirl, or do a round of sit-ups or push-ups. Remember, changing your physical state is one of the fastest ways to change a droopy mental state.
Scoop Up Your Energy. Another favorite strategy can be done in the privacy of any bathroom stall or anywhere you choose. Simply lean over, bringing your hands to your feet. Then, imagine drawing the energy of the earth up with your hands as you scoop the energy up along-side your body. Your cupped hands will pass your knees, hips, belly, heart, shoulders, neck and head. Continue to extend your arms up over your head until they are fully extended. Breathe in deeply. Repeat this exercise several times until you feel grounded and alive with energy.
4. Brush Those Teeth. Yep. Simple and effective. Scrubbing those pearly whites does more than just freshen your breath and prevent cavities. It's like beginning your day anew. My client keeps her toothbrush and toothpaste handy at work. Instead of reaching for sugary snack, de-sugarize your mouth. With a minty fresh mouth, you'll also be less likely to spoil it with the taste of soda or coffee. It a nice "pick-me-up," that works!
5. Silence the Mind. This is my all-time favorite remedy. On my busiest days, in the late afternoon, my energy can dwindle and strong urges to nap set in. Remedy? I plop down on my meditation pillow or lie on the floor, setting the timer for 6 to 10 minutes (longer if I have the time). My only purpose is to clear my mind. A mental break. When the beeper goes off, I'm always surprisingly recharged and ready to go. Works like a charm.
6. Connect with Nature. Why not tap into the most powerful resource in the universe? It's found outside of every home or office. Nature. Get some fresh air. Pull those shoes off and rub your feet in the grass. Hug a tree. Smell the flowers. Lie in the sunshine. Gaze at the sky. Watch the clouds move. Find the moon. Dare to try a cartwheel! Walk around the block or on a nature trail. Walk more briskly if it's chilly. There's something about being in nature that reminds me of the bigger world outside of me. Suddenly, my tasks don't seem as daunting when I connect to the awesome world around me. Nature energizes. Breathe in that fresh air with gusto!
7. Have a Good Belly Laugh. For a healthy rush of endorphins, get creative about generating laughter. Not just a chuckle. I'm talking about guttural belly laughs that make your cheeks hurt. I have several clients who keep a variety of "state-inducing" props in their offices and cubicles for this purpose. Groucho Marx nose glasses, noise producing gadgets and funny hats can bring the element of surprise to the afternoon doldrums. Do you work alone? You Tube has countless clips of hysterical footage. Make fun of yourself. Exaggerate the droopy state. Make faces in the mirror like you did when you were a kid. Be willing to laugh.
Releasing a Caffeine Addiction
If you're considering drastically cutting back on the coffee, soda or caffeine, I'd love to encourage you to go for it!! When I left corporate America, I, like many others had a caffeine addiction. Three Diet Cokes a day was part of the routine. When I transitioned to a home-based business in 1993, I made a decision to give up the habit. For a week, I had a few headaches, but I persevered and in 14 years, I've consumed less than a half dozen sodas. The natural energy I enjoy is better than any caffeine lift. On the days, I experience the "energy droops," I tap into the simple strategies above. Naps also work wonders.
Are you ready to radically reduce or eliminate soda or coffee? Just make the decision, and go for it.
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"Express" is to communicate, convey, reveal, expose or give. "Yourself" is YOU. In Expressing YOURSELF we want YOUR thoughts, feelings and emotions, not someone else's. "Express yourself FULLY" means "all of you", not a partial rendition or "playing it safe" version. And, yes there are huge rewards for "expressing ourselves fully", including fulfillment.
Of course, we want to Fully Express Ourselves responsibly. It's no longer fulfilling when our self-expression is destructive or harmful to someone else. Performers, singers, artists, and musicians find fulfillment in their work because they have a direct channel for expressing themselves fully. On the contrary, when someone follows a format that is "NOT really them" or is forced to fit a mold, the same level of fulfillment disappears. What prevents us from full self-expression? Fear of JUDGMENT. If we can learn to "let go" of what others might think, we can be free to "fully BE ourselves" What would you like to express to the world? What haven't you revealed yet? How can you "express yourself fully" everyday?One of our deepest human needs is to be "fully seen" by another. And, it's so fulfilling to do so. Try it, you'll like it.
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"Never be in a hurry; do everything quietly and in a calm spirit.
Do not lose your inner peace for anything whatsoever,
even if your whole world seems upset."
- St. Francis de Sales
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The Power of Inner Choice: 12 Weeks to Living a Life YOU Love
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Everyday Inner Peace is about maximizing YOUR inner peace. Whatever is interfering with your inner peace is temporary, unnecessary suffering. Here you’ll find tips, strategies and inspiration to return to relaxed bliss … in minutes. Everything is better in life with an abundance of "inner peace."
In honor of the upcoming holidays, I thought it would be timely to remind you of the concept of SIMPLICITY.
In coaching, my job is to help clients keep ideas alive between sessions, so they realize the full benefits of an idea put into action. One of the most effective ways to do this is having a “structure” or “que” to REMIND one to live a desired intention.
The Minders Collection™ was designed to assist you in keeping a lesson alive in your life. The Gem-Minders™ subtlety reminds you with beautiful colors and symbols on your wrist. They look good and carry inspired meaning with you everywhere you go. A quick glance or a soulful meditation on these thoughtful images, supports you visually and emotionally.
Living Life to the FULLEST
Honoring...Our Friend
Vytas Pazemenas
1938 - 2009
On November 15, 2009, we gathered for Vytas Pazemenas' Memorial at Balboa Yacht Club in Newport Beach. I found myself even more honored to know this unique man.
Born in Lithuania in 1938, as a child Vytas was smack in the middle of World War II, between the German Army and Red Army of Russia. His family once hid under a train, protecting themselves from gun-fire. His father was captured by the Russians...and later escaped. They finally fled Lithuania. Vytas was a refugee.
As a young man, Vytas came to the USA to attend college, graduating from Penn State with a degree in engineering. He chose the medical device industry, and steadily worked his way into management in Silicon Valley. He had a knack for recognizing and developing talent. In 1999, Vytas was invited to southern California to lead a company in distress. As CEO, he turned it around! When that company sold, Vytas decided it was time to start his own medical device company. Vytas was an avid sailor, and a fan of the book series about Jack Aubrey, a man of high character and integrity...hence the company name: The Aubrey Group. Vytas was a leader.
This week, gratitude is the perfect emotion to adopt. Gratitude is a feeling of thankfulness and appreciation. Appreciation and gratitude are interchangeable. In gratitude there is acceptance, love and acknowledgment of “what is”. In gratitude, there is spaciousness and connectedness.
APPLICATION - Appreciate the moment. Appreciate your strengths and weaknesses. Appreciate who you are, a unique being with personality and soul. Appreciate the gifts and challenges in your life. Appreciate your work, income, clients, employer, employees and referrals. Appreciate your health, your body, your senses, your ability to walk and live. Appreciate the acts of kindness and contribution you offer others, and that others contribute to you. Appreciate others' unique qualities, their foibles, quirks and gifts. Appreciate your environment, your neighborhood, city, state, country and planet. Appreciate the government for providing a structure that strives for order, safety, education, services and justice. Appreciate the entertainers, the artists, the business owners and entrepreneurs, laymen, doctors, lawyers, dentists, massage therapists, dry cleaners, yoga teachers, manufacturers, farmers, teachers, executives, cab drivers, salesmen, managers, photographers, wedding planners, electricians and garbage collectors. Appreciate freedom, free-trade, the stock market, opportunity, creativity and choice. Appreciate joy, love, peace, kindness, humility, forgiveness, truth, honesty, integrity, knowledge, wisdom and grace. Appreciate your stressful thoughts for expanding your awareness and allowing you to discover the truth. Appreciate the thoughts that allow joy and bliss to electrify your being. Appreciate your vulnerability, your humanity and your willingness to grow and learn.
Happy Thanksgiving!
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We are human BEINGs, not human DOINGs. And society has conditioned most of us to DO, DO, DO, and offered little to no "training" in simply "being".
Underneath all the doing in life lies some sort of BEING energy - it may be determination, confidence, love or even anger, fear or depression. Some combination of BEING energy is ALWAYS driving the DOING energy, however most of us don't consciously choose the energy that serves us most.
So, how do you want to BE?
A: Overwhelmed, angry and frazzled
B: Loving, clear and grounded
C:_____________ (you fill in the blank)?
Would the "being" states of A or B influence your "doingness" or output? Absolutely. The good news is, over time you can re-condition yourself to live in the states of "being" that support your highest happiness. Your "being" states dramatically impact your level of joy and satisfaction, whether you are conscious about it or not. Why not choose consciously?
What BEING states do you want more of in your life? What BEING states do you want less of? What will you choose?
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LOVE… This is truly one of the great emotions in life, isn’t it? The word LOVE is used in numerous ways to capture that special connection that ties us all together as human beings, and to everything we have an affinity for. In our purest state, I believe we love everyone and everything in this world. The dictionary defines “love” in the following ways.
Do you get an energy slump in the afternoon? Are you relying on caffeinated drinks like coffee, tea and soda to "pick-you-up"? What if you could zip up your energy naturally and effectively?
One of my favorite clients once came to our call to explore alternative ways to tackle the mid-afternoon energy droops. Finding three empty coffee mugs, a Diet Red Bull and two empty tea cups on her desk at the end of a crazed day jolted her system in more ways than one. She was also finding it more difficult to sleep at night after artificially zipping up her adrenals all day. Fortunately, she was ready and WILLING to implement alternatives. Here's a snapshot of the list we generated that day with a few additional ideas.
1. Breathing. When stress sets in, the body contracts. Instinctually breath becomes more shallow. We practically stop breathing. Less oxygen makes it to your brilliant brain cells, and passing out on your desk becomes inviting. Fortunately, the fix is simple. Bring your conscious attention to your breath. Inhale with deep diaphragm breaths. Make your belly rise and fall with each breath. Most of us only breathe from our chest. Where is your breathing now? Get the oxygen pumping again. A phenomenal exercise involves breathing in a 1:4:2 ratio. It works like this. Breathe in for 8 counts, hold for 32 counts, and exhale for 16 counts. Any 1:4:2 ratio works. Breathe in for 10, hold for 40, and exhale for 20. You're exhaling out longer than you're breathing in. Repeat this 10 times.
Ever wonder why smokers feel better after a cigarette? While they are out puffing, they are taking deep breaths which relax the body. But, you can get the benefits without jeopardizing your health. And, it's free. So, take a "breather," and notice how inspired and energized you become.
I have found "breathing" exercises particularly useful as I was standing on the trapeze platform, getting ready to swing, hang from my knees, and be caught in midair. The instructor said, "Breathe in deeply. Hold for 3-4 counts. And, exhale as you drop your shoulders." Surprisingly, I became quite relaxed as I stepped to the edge and grabbed the trapeze bar. By my sixth flight, using this breathing exercise at the bottom, about three times, I was ready to go immediately when I arrived at the top. Remember to breathe.
2. Hydrate. One of the quickest and easiest remedies is gulping down a nice, filtered glass of water. Maybe several. Drinking shifts your breathing, gets the blood flowing, and brings more oxygen into your system. It's difficult to maximize the output of your mind when it's low on water. Give yourself a treat. Hydrate. Sometimes, this is all it takes. And, sometimes we need to take the NEXT step.
3. Let's Get Physical. Cartwheels and jumping jacks are two silly, yet effective ways to get the blood re-circulating in a foggy brain. Seriously. Grab a partner like my client does and enjoy a cartwheel or two. I've been known to do 25 jumping jacks when I need to break a slump prior to a live conference call or mid-afternoon coaching session. It 
"Express" is to communicate, convey, reveal, expose or give. "Yourself" is YOU. In Expressing YOURSELF we want YOUR thoughts, feelings and emotions, not someone else's. "Express yourself FULLY" means "all of you", not a partial rendition or "playing it safe" version. And, yes there are huge rewards for "expressing ourselves fully", including fulfillment.
Of course, we want to Fully Express Ourselves responsibly. It's no longer fulfilling when our self-expression is destructive or harmful to someone else. Performers, singers, artists, and musicians find fulfillment in their work because they have a direct channel for expressing themselves fully. On the contrary, when someone follows a format that is "NOT really them" or is forced to fit a mold, the same level of fulfillment disappears. What prevents us from full self-expression? Fear of JUDGMENT. If we can learn to "let go" of what others might think, we can be free to "fully BE ourselves"
What would you like to express to the world? What haven't you revealed yet? How can you "express yourself fully" everyday? One of our deepest human needs is to be "fully seen" by another. And, it's so fulfilling to do so. Try it, you'll like it.
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